11th of Eleasis, 1491: Afternoon following fight with Redcaps / Ride to Blue Haven
Chapter 1: Red Cap Aftermath
Shep snorted with irritation as he stomped the battle areas searching for the bodies of the redcaps. He could find nothing of the bodies but a tooth or two. Taking out his anger on the scattered teeth, he stomped them deeply into the ground.
Cirilli walked around the campsite kicking apart every mushroom she could find. She attacked any mushroom with a red top or reddish tint with extra fury so that absolutely nothing was left that was bigger than a pinhead.
Cirilli’s mutterings could be heard by the Atalaya as she cast her spell to heal Sorrow’s wounds. Not happy with her initial result she cast again and then handed him a couple of Goodberries. Finally deciding that Sorrow was as well as she could make him, she assisted him to a sitting position and told him to stay there while she collected all the spent arrows she could find. As she neared Cirilli she pulled her young ward close to her and hugged her tightly. “You did well, Daughter of my Heart. You listened to Nevil and responded quickly to the changing events on the battlefield.
Inman took a deep breath, one that hurt less than the deep searing pain from a moment ago. Seemingly ethereal, floating near him, Nevil kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear before turning to check the others. "...but not today my love."
Only half aware, his fingers followed hers until she was out of reach. Sticky. They are sticky. Awareness returned as he focused on his hand, still stretching out toward Nevil. Blood. His blood, it dripped from her hands, from his hands, it saturated the side of his torn shirt, splattered over his boots and across the gravel at his feet. It all began to seep in. How can she be so calm?
Seeing Atalaya tending to Sorrow, who cast aside shards revealing whole flesh beneath, Nevil excused herself to the small stream as Cirilli patrolled for Mushrooms.
With her back turned to the group, Nevil's hands shook as the remainder of the adrenaline ran through her body. Needing to calm, to ground herself, to feel its flow, she bent to run her fingers through cool clear waters. Calm waters... her mind ran still and her body slowed.
Her eyes opened to find red dusky trails swirling from her fingers. Still mother… The truth, the blood that covered her hands, tainted the peace of the stream and crushing reality returned. I wouldn't survive losing him.
Still somewhat shielded from the view of the others, Nevil stood, took a few steps, then vomited over a poor cluster of ferns. It's too much.
Then Nevil felt a nudge at her back. She rose to find that Shep's large dark eyes and heavy snorting sigh spoke volumes of understanding. She threw an arm over his thick neck and pulled herself to his shoulder. "I know, I know, me too."
Inman approached, the gravel crunching under his boot. He patted the horse firmly with his hand as he walked to be near Nevil. "I owe you my thanks old boy. You've always been there when I couldn't." Irritated by the interruption, Shep shifted his weight, pushing his flank into Inman, forcing him to take a step to the side. Nevil looked at Inman with a pained expression. Not now. I can't do this now. She reached to touch his chest but walked past him in avoidance. He gently caught her arm, "Maggie, I..."
Nevil, very much numb, interrupted him almost coldly, "please not now, let it settle." Shep and Inman both watched Nevil walk away. For the first time, the horse almost felt bad for Inman.
Chapter 2: Nevil Councils Cirilli
Nevil wishing for a positive distraction found Cirilli, who had just finished making rounds of mushroom eradication. "I'm proud of you and impressed that you knew what these things were.”
“I learned about them in a book Elanil showed me when I stayed there while Atalaya and the others were working on something they said I couldn’t join in. You know, in the story it said something about their teeth. If you could find a tooth after you killed one of them, the tooth was magical and brought you luck. That’s probably not true though. It was a story afterall. I kind of looked to see if I could find any of their teeth, but I think Shep has stomped them all 10 feet under the ground.”
Cirilli’s whole expression turned suddenly serious. “I didn’t know Shep could fight like that. He really saved you.” Suddenly Cirilli threw herself onto Nevil, her arms clinging to her neck as her body trembled. “I thought both you and Inman were going to die. I was so scared.” Tears ran down her face as she frantically tried to wipe them away on Nevil’s tunic as she continued to cling to her. “What if they had killed you? Or Inman? Or …” her voice lowered to a whisper, “...or Atalaya?”
Nevil's heart broke as Cirilli struggled. "Oh child, I know. Come here." Nevil put an arm around Cirilli’s shoulder and walked her aside to a large log near the creek where they sat. Then she put an arm around Cirilli to offer a quick hug. Cirilli accepted and wiped tears with the back of her hand.
Watching the light ripple of the water for a moment to collect her thoughts, Nevil took a long deep breath.
"Everything of worth has a price. This pain we feel today, the fear of loss, this is the price of love, and the price of conviction. To know love, that is the beauty of life. And for those of us who also know conviction, we must accept the risk of losing... Sometimes everything."
Nevil picks up a twig and rolls it between her fingers. "This trip was not supposed to be this dangerous. We have tried to keep you distant from this, to shelter you from the stark reminders that there are times this work brings us close to death."
Nevil's eyes water. "That battle... was hard.” She paused. “It is alright to feel this way. So, we hold each other, and we breathe together, and we remind each other to seek the beauty of life when we can. Because time is not promised."
Cirilli leaned against Nevil, her eyes closed as she hesitantly started quoting,
Watch the Butterfly,
the granny crooned.
The joy of her flight
The color of her wings.
She swoops and she flutters
Then rests in the sun.
Watch the Butterfly my child
She comes and she goes.
A few short days to enjoy
Because time is not promised,
Rather, a gift for the day.
Cirilli fell silent after the last line, watching the water as it made its way over the rocky creek bed.
Nevil looked with surprise at the top of Cirilli’s head as she clung to her side. "Poetry? You keep surprising me young one."
Cirilli looked embarrassed. “We all had to pick a poem to memorize back before all the real priestesses were replaced at the temple. I learned that one, and what you said reminded me of it. It’s just a poem. Cirilli grew silent as the words ran through her thoughts. “That’s what you were saying isn’t it? Enjoy now because you might not live until tomorrow.”
Nevil grimaced, "No, not exactly. It's more hopeful than that. How do I explain?"
Then Tyrn's words echoed in Nevil’s mind. She spoke, reciting his guidance as an affirmation.
“Do not linger with fear
for it will rob you
of your one fleeting life.
But dwell with compassion
draw close to others
and celebrate hidden beauty
For life's value is not granted by the Gods.
It is the love we make
with and for each other.”
“I like that too. Maybe I should memorize it too.” As a couple tears slide down her cheek she tries to repeat Nevil’s words, “something, then fear will rob you of your life… “ She shakes her head a little in frustration. “No, that’s not right. Can you repeat what you said just now? It sounded like a poem, but not exactly.”
Nevil chuckled, "it is a poem. One I learned from Tyrn just a few years ago. And I have to remind myself again and again. Here."
Nevil repeated the poem.
"Forgetting to live is a greater tragedy than death. And living, as deeply as you can, makes a life, no matter how short, sweet." Nevil smiled contently. "For me, it is a reminder to keep moving forward.”
“Moving forward, not being stuck in the past.” Cirilli watched the creek flowing past them. “I always liked the streams and creeks that were around Parabor. They are always moving, always finding ways around the obstacles in their way. They may seem quiet and tame in one spot but then they are dancing and merrily loud just a short distance further along their path.”
“Okay, let’s see, it starts
‘Do not linger with fear,’ What’s next?”
Cirilli spends the next few minutes learning Nevil’s poem. Repeating each stanza after Nevil until she can repeat the whole poem independently. When she is sure that she has it committed to memory she breaks out in a huge smile. “Yes, that is a good poem for a fighter to know. I wonder if Atalaya and Joan know it.”
“It’s hard to say. It may have been something Tyrn wrote.” Nevil sighs. "Learning to ground yourself will also help a lot, but a closeness to death and loss will always be the burden of this work. This is why Atalaya is teaching you meditation. It is why I seek the Still Mother. The others... I'm not sure. You will need to find what grounds you best. It's a struggle I understand well. "
“And if you find that this becomes too much, I am sure Atalaya would agree, there are options to keep you with family in a more normal life until we return. You should also know, should something happen, I'm sure that each of us here would be willing to keep you as a part of our own family. You wouldn't be on your own.”
“No, I’m okay now. Or I will be okay.” She stumbled as she searched for the words she needed to express herself to Nevil. “I know that this is a dangerous life. But life was dangerous even before I decided to become a ranger like Atalaya. Staying home with family didn’t keep me from being captured by those cultists and locked up in a cage by a crazy priest. Even being with Atalaya didn’t keep that other group of demon cultists from trying to take me and give me to that thing. I think, since “time is not promised” I want to be sure each day is mine to live fully, and maybe to help others live their lives fully too. It was just scary to see what could happen again. I think I need to really work with Atalaya on meditation. It’s hard because all these thoughts and feelings start bubbling up when I try to quiet my mind. I guess I haven’t really faced some of them after … “
Cirilli grew silent while she let the fear of the fight flow through her again, her body trembling slightly as she sat next to Nevil. “I’ll be okay,” she said as she moved forward, kneeling by the stream and gathering some of its water in her hand to wash the tears streaks from her face.
Then in a moment of quiet, Nevil felt a small pull on her pants. Nigel had found his way to her side and lay a paw on her thigh. She looked back over her shoulder, where Inman gave her a small nod of permission from a distance. I should not have turned him away.
Nevil looked down at the rat, who raised his nose high inspecting the air. He crawled over Nevil and nudged his head under her hand. "What are you doing friend?" Nevil asked. Cirilli looked curiously at the two as she turned back to Nevil. Nevil petted the rat, "what do you think he is thinking?”
Cirilli returned to Nevil’s side. She used her index finger to gently stroke Nigel’s back as she considered Nevil’s question. Finally plastering a smile on her face she answered, “I think that he is wondering why we haven’t gotten away from this place yet.” After a slight pause she asked, “What do you think he is thinking?”
“I think you're right.” Nevil stands and hands Nigel to Cirilli. “But maybe he's looking for some company?”
Cirilli cuddled Nigel and then scratched his ear. Carefully moving her finger past his whiskers she gave several scratches under his chin. The blissed out rat flattened himself on Cirilli’s hand and forearm as he raised his head up begging silently for more attention. “Silly Nigel, you just need some loving, right?” Cirilli stood, her eyes falling on Inman who was staring at Nevil rat her helplessly.
Quickly returning Nigel to Nevil’s hands she quipped, “Or maybe he was sent to keep you company. Or to get you to talk to Inman? And I should find Atalaya.” Cirilli searches the glade and then immediately heads towards Atalaya before Nevil can say anything or hand Nigel back to her.
Chapter 3: Clean up
With Nevil mentoring Cirilli, Inman began to make rounds, casting to lift blood and stains off armor, skin, and clothing. He approached the others offering his services. When he got to Sorrow, the bard rubbed his fingers softly together and grinned at Inman. “This might tickle.” The threads of Inman’s torn shirt interlaced, closed, and mended whole.
"A bit less windy." He quipped as Inman gestured to lift the Redcap icor splattered across Sorrow's pants.
"Yes, and gladly so." Inman smiled as he felt and inspected his side.
Atalaya watched as Nevil guided Cirilli to sit on a log. Seeing that they were in an intense conversation and that Inman and Sorrow were also talking together, she decided that it was time to gather the horses. They were skittish, still disturbed by the recent sounds of the intense battle and then Shep’s antics. The sounds of his hoofs pounding the earth as he trampled any possible remains of the redcaps were still occasionally heard as he moved to a new area of the clearing. Atalaya needed to patiently wait and anticipate the horses’ movements. The need to calm herself in order to calm and catch the horses helped her to push the sights, sounds and smells of the battle aside for the moment, although she knew that she would need to deal with the chaos of the battle and her emotions regarding it soon.
Her patience paying off, she finally gathered the four stable horses and headed back across the creek to the others. “Are we ready to leave this place?”
Inman took the reins of two of the horses. “Nevil is still talking with Cirilli. But yes.”
Shep helped corral the mares as Inman inspected saddles and hooves.
Seeing the group settle, Atalaya quickly put out the fire, making sure that it was not going to be a danger to the forest around them. She then kicked the stones away from each other, erasing any evidence of a campfire pit and used a sturdy tree branch to roll the stones even farther apart. I would like to return them to the creek, but that would not be wise while they are so hot from the fire.
Sorrow watched as Atalaya put out the fire. Finally deciding that he was past any point of feeling the effects of his wounds stood up and walked to where Atalaya was attacking the fire ring. Reaching down he began picking up the rocks and lobbing them in random directions into the forest around the glade.
With the beginnings of a smile crossing her face Atalaya remarked, “Much more effective, much faster. Thanks Sorrow.”
Cirilli made her way to Atalaya. “Are you okay? I didn’t see you get hurt like Inman and well everyone else. But…”
“I’m fine, Daughter of my Heart. Really. It looked like you were having a serious conversation with Nevil. Is everything okay with you? This was a very intense and difficult fight. We were almost too slow to save ourselves. Thank goodness for Shep.” Atalaya pulled Cirilli into a hug and cradled her head into her shoulder. “I’m just so glad that you are okay. This was not supposed to be a trip filled with battles; just a jaunt through the woods to find a few books.”
“Don’t say that you wouldn’t have brought me with you. You are already missing Boz. Do you think you all could have survived that fight with one less person on your side?” Cirilli looks like she can’t decide whether to break out in tears again or start cussing at one and all.
Atalaya just held Cirilli tighter in her arms, her own fears for Cirilli and her new family raced round and round in her thoughts. “I could wish that you had not been anywhere near this last fight.” She felt Cirilli stiffen in her arms and start to pull away. “Please listen to me,” she cajoled. “I’m not finished. I could wish that, but you are right. Without both Vaz and you here, I am afraid that we would have paid dearly for stopping here. You fought well. You kept your head, followed orders when they were given and made good choices when you needed to.” Atalaya kissed her forehead as she held Cirilli tightly. “You are becoming a worthy ranger, but I admit that scares me at times. I hate that you are in danger while you are still so young and still learning the skills you need for this life you have chosen.”
Atalaya took a deep breath. “But we survived, the redcaps were defeated and we will recover from our wounds. We need to release the fear and pain and look for the beauty and joy in today and in each coming day. It provides us with grounding and gives us the heart we need to keep going.
Cirilli gave Atalaya another hug, then eased her way out of Atalaya’s arms. “Are we ready to leave this place? I’m ready to get out of here.”
Atalaya smiled. “Do you have your spent arrows?”
“No Atalaya. I… I was so scared and mad afterwards I… I forgot to look for them. I’ll look right now.”
“Wait Cirilli.” Atalaya turned to her horse and handed her a bundle that had been looped over the saddle horn. “Have you cleaned your sword?”
Cirilli vigorously nodded. “Yes, while I was kicking apart the mushrooms. That was a bit excessive, wasn’t it. The mushrooms weren’t at fault for what the redcaps did.”
“Come, we should check the clearing a final time. We need to be sure the fire is truly out, all our equipment has been retrieved, and erase any signs that we were here, at least all those that we can. Come help.” Atalaya takes Cirilli with her as she makes a final sweep of the camp, showing Cirilli how to remove as many signs as they can. “We can’t remove Shep’s pounded hoof prints. They are too deep in the soil, but we can try to cover them from casual inspection.” The two work on removing all signs of the fight and their presence.
Chapter 4: Mount up and Ride
Nevil cupped the rat in her hands and walked to Inman who was adjusting saddle straps on the horses. He stopped as Nevil neared. She handed him Nigel and lingered soft and close. "I'm sorry I pushed you away. I was alone for a long time... and Cirilli reminded me..."
Inman let out a big sigh and drew Nevil to him as the rat crawled up to his shoulder and jumped on the horse's saddle. "I know. It's ok. When we have more time later." The pair embraced quietly for a minute. Then Inman broke the silence, "I just want to get out of here and put this behind us.”
Nevil looked deeply into Inman’s wet eyes and squeezed his hand before they separated. “I like that idea.”
Then out of habit, Nevil took a cloth out of her pack, dampened it with her waterskin attached to the saddle, and began to wipe her mace to remove the filth.
Inman twirled his fingers in the air behind her and lifted the gore that had begun to dry all over her. She turned to him with surprise.
Inman’s playful expression returned, “You were already talking to Cirilli.”
Nevil softened, “Old habits...”
Inman flung the filth to the ground and, “One day you will let me spoil you properly and we can make new ones.” Inman's deeper meaning was not lost on Nevil.
Nevil mounted a mare and walked the horse over to grab the reins of Cirilli’s horse. Inman stood nearby and waited to help Cirili mount her mare when she was finished with Atalaya.
Sorrow had been chatting with Shep who found the appearance of the bard enthralling. Sorrow appeared to enjoy the change of pace with an animal and placed his forehead to Shep's, his horns straddling the large steed's head. Nevil giggled looking at the two.
Sorrow mounted Shep and trotted to the side of Atalaya’s horse.
Finishing their final circuit around the glade Atalaya nodded towards Nevil who held the reins of Cirilli’s horse. “Mount up child, it’s time to leave this place.” Atalaya gathered her horse’s reins and quickly leapt into her saddle. Reining her horse around she scouted ahead, searching for a safe path back to the road.
Atalaya led the way out of the glade, up the narrow footpath, through the ferns and grasses to the road. Inman lamented as his horse followed closely behind, with the others forming a tight line. "It was a beautiful spot. It's a shame we didn't get to enjoy it..."
As the trail dumped out onto the road, Atalaya turned her horse aside, to linger and see that everyone made the turn. Inman, Sorrow, then Cirilli followed with Nevil in tow. For several miles the group was silent as the horses fast walked along under the arms of elder trees which lined the road. Inman and Cirilli led, Sorrow with the wide warhorse took the middle, and Atalaya and Nevil behind.
Nevil couldn't take the silence any longer and she kicked her mare to catch up to and ride alongside Sorrow. Sorrow glanced over, making eye contact with Nevil who bore a mischievous grin. Nevil gestured with her head that Sorrow should go ahead. Then she made motions with her hands as though she was galloping and pointed to Cirilli. Sorrow’s eyes brightened. Then just around a curve with a spot wide enough for him to slip by, he kicked Shep a let out a loud, "Haaa." Across Nevil's mind, Shep's delight grew like a warmth. His large hindquarters strained as he rose in first thrust to gallop ahead. Cirilli jumped with surprise and she turned over her shoulder to see Sorrow and Shep pass. The sound of Shep's thunderous hooves growing with each stride. Sorrow taunted, "Let's see what you got.”
An errant screech from Cirilli graced the area as Sorrow swept past her on the galloping Shep. Her horse threw his head back in surprise and fright as it seemed to magically jump sideways forcing Inman’s horse off the path. It then grabbed the bit in his teeth and started a thundering gallop in his attempt to reach and pass Shep to get away from whatever evil creature was chasing them. Cirilli gulped in surprise and clutched frantically for the saddlehorn as her horse gathered more and more speed. “Stop you crazy damn fleabitten excuse of a horse!!!” Cirilli reached a hand almost automatically towards the horse’s mane looking for a secure place to hold on. Finding his mane she grabbed a handful and held tightly to that in addition to the saddlehorn in her other hand. This brought her weight forward over the horse's neck and he neighed in response, his pacing lengthening even further. Cirilli flopped around on his back as she lost one of her stirrups. “Gods and Goddesses!” she exclaimed. “Stop it you damn horse, Whoa! Do you know that word?”
Atalaya watched, her mouth dropping open in disbelief. What in the name of the nine hells does Sorrow think he is doing??? Atalaya squeezed her horse's chest and then added a little kick to encourage more speed. She passed Nevil and then allowed her horse to chase Cirilli’s. After what felt like hours she was able to reach the horse’s head and grab hold of the bridle as she began to slow her own mount down. “Easy lad, easy boy. No need to run. All is well” Atalaya crooned to the horses. It took a few minutes, but she was able to ease the horses back to a slow walk and finally they both halted. Atalaya flew out of the saddle reaching up for Cirilli.
Cirilli’s hands still gripped the saddle and the horses mane as if they were glued together. Her body shaking, she looked back down the trail. “What happened? What scared them? Are we under attack?” Slowly she forced her fingers to loosen their grip and once free reached for and practically fell into Atalaya’s arms.
Atalaya caught her and eased her onto her feet. “Easy love, I’ve got you. Can you stand up?”
Cirilli nodded, not really trusting herself to speak. After taking several breaths to calm herself she looked up to see herself surrounded by worried faces.
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