After Lunch, 2nd Day of Eleasis

After Lunch, 2nd Day of Eleasis

 

Chapter 1: A Minstrel’s Serenade 

Lunch was finished and the galley cleaned and straightened.  Ivar had gone topside to relieve Annie, a bowl of Pho prepared for her in his hand.  Lonnie and Rogelio were resting in their cabins while Kyle manned the crow’s nest.    Sorrow sat at the small circle table, his fiddle in his hands as he poured over music scores, his fingers unconsciously fingering the cords as his eyes scanned the notes.  Finally he pulled out one of the scores, placed it on top of the others, glanced at Atalaya, and started playing it softly.  An ancient elven ballad filled the space of the common room.  Atalaya stilled as she recognized the song that Sorrow was playing.  She had been talking quietly with Vasilya, but grew quiet as the music filled the space of the common room.  Vasilya, noting the change in Atalaya, shifted slightly and pulled Atalaya into his lap.  “You know this song?  It’s not something I have heard him play very often.  It’s too quiet to be a good tavern song.”  

Atalaya nodded into Vaz’s shoulder.  “It’s a very old song.  It’s an elven creation hymn, telling of the formation of Toril and the bringing of elves into the world.”  It’s a song played when a child is born and when someone dies.  And on the high holy days.  Why would he play it today?   Atalaya rested in Vaz’s arms and let the music and Vaz’s soft voice calm nerves that were still on high alert from the morning’s experiences.  She wasn’t sure exactly what he was saying, not making the effort to translate his Gurrish words but his voice blended with the music and settled her racing thoughts as it soothed away her imminent headache.  

   This is nice.  I could sit here all afternoon.  Closing her eyes she allowed the music, Vaz’s voice and the feel of his fingers tracing shapes on her hand lull her into a slight doze.  Sorrow met Vasilya’s eyes and gave him a smile and slight nod  as he continued to play the ballads of creation softly moving from one to the next seamlessly.  Coming to the end of the final ballad he allowed the music to fade away.  Speaking softly to Vasilya he counseled, “You best wake her up.  I believe she has plans for more lessons for Cirilli this afternoon.”

Vasilya gently brushed a lock of her hair off her face.  “She so seldom allows herself to sleep.  I hate waking her, but I suppose you are right.  I think she plans to start teaching her to meditate.  After watching her this morning, I think I should ask for the same lessons.  

Atalaya slowly became aware of the sound of voices.  She was sitting on someone's lap with her head resting on his shoulder.  A hand was lazily caressing her back.  Suddenly completely awake she took stock of where she was.  Breathing in Vaz’s scent she realized whose lap she was sitting on even before meeting his eyes.  “What the…” she started to say as Vasilya softly kissed her lips.  

“You needed to rest, Iubita mea.  But it is probably time for you to give Cirilli her meditation lesson.”  Giving her an intense look, he asked, “Do you think it would be alright if I listened in.  After this morning’s exhibitions, I find that I am very interested in what you are going to be teaching your young ward.”  

Atalaya thought for a few minutes, while enjoying the closeness of Vasilya and his touch on her back.  “Not today.  She’s never done any meditation that I know about, and I don’t want her to have to contend with an audience while she is first trying to reach a centered state.  If you wish to learn about what I do, I can work you through a meditation another time.”   She stretched, working out the kinks from sitting so long in Vasilya’s lap.  Standing up she leaned forward pressing her forehead to his, “Nais tuk, Iubit”  She stood up and added, “I’ll see you later, after Cirilli has completed her first attempt at meditation.  Would you mind giving us the cabin for a while?  It should be quieter there than if we try to use her room.”  

Vasilya pulls her back down to whisper in her ear, “Of course.  But there is a toll to be paid later, Iubita.”  Remembering past tolls, Atalaya blushes as she pulls away from him, but there is laughter in her eyes.  “We will discuss that later in private,” she responds and then leaves to prepare for Cirilli.

 

Nevil was about to get up from the table when Sorrow's melody softly filled the room.   A half relaxed state of nightcap has settled into her muscles, easing some of the soreness from the morning's exertions and the battle the day before. This is beautiful.  She lifted a leg over the bench to straddle it and turn to see him play. 

Coming from the galley and wishing to be near, Inman sat behind her, drew an arm around her waist, and offered himself as a back rest. Nevil closed her eyes and enjoyed the moment. How does he always smell of sage?  I mean, garlic and onions should be all over him...

Inman was only half listening, distracted by the closeness of the back of her neck and the lips he wished to place there.  Then, knowing he could help with her soreness, his desire to have her in his hands felt justified. So, Inman started lightly palpating her shoulders and neck, finding several large knots.  Nevil fought her reflex to tense. So good, damn that's a big one.  Her brow furrowed, her breath halted, as each one was discovered and worked. 

 After several minutes, Inman notices no improvement with his efforts and he could feel the heat of inflammation over her shield arm.  With concern, he whispers in her ear, "I'm going to bring you another cup of tea and after you finish it, we are going to work these out in our room."   Oh, are we? No other reason, I'm sure.  He chuckles, "It both is, and is not, what you're thinking. I can't get enough controlled pressure or position you properly here to get these knots to release.  But I also want you to myself."  Yes, please.  Make me putty.  

"Pain then pleasure," she quietly teased, leaning forward as he shifted to stand.  Knowing it was an incomplete answer, he grinned "Yes, both."

Inman returned with a hot cup of water and set it beside Nevil.  Nevil sprinkled nightcap into the cup and Inman placed his hands on her shoulder.  Ah, what the hell!  Nevil gasped, and pulled away slightly before she understood what was happening.  Inman was cooling her skin with his hands like he cooled the ale for Midsummer. "Trust me, I'm good at this. It will help," he said softly, not wanting to disrupt Sorrow. This is terribly unfair.  Then again, what one cold finger could do... 

After several more minutes and with the tea finished.  Nevil and Inman excused themselves to their room.  Inman gives Sorrow a nod of appreciation and enters the galley behind Nevil.  He washes the cup, setting it back in its place and then enters the cabin to find Nevil undressing. He closes the cabin door behind himself.

Chapter 2: Massage Time

Atalaya made her way to her cabin.  She paused and looked longingly towards the bed, but then made her way towards her armor.  I’m not sure where Inman is right now, but I think he and Nevil had plans for this afternoon.  I’ll just leave these outside the door to their cabin.  Picking them up and heading back across the ship, she found a spot near the door that was both easily visible from the doorway and also out of people’s way if they came down the bow staircase.  She headed back to the cabin, idly wondering where Vasilya had gone.  Entering their room answered that question.  Vasilya stood, leaning against the desk and watching her as she entered the room.  

“We need to discuss the toll for the exclusive use of this room later this afternoon.  It’s earlier than you think.  There is still an hour before Cirilli will be looking for you.  Plenty of time for you to pay up.”

“I see,” Atalaya answered.  “And just what kind of toll do you plan on charging me today?”  Atalaya walked up to him, moving into his personal space.  She placed her hands on his chest, the edges of her fingers lightly folding into the space above his clavicles.  Looking up at him she attempted to give him her best version of “puppy dog eyes.” Breathlessly she inquired, “Vaz?  Your price?”

Vasilya’s hands reached for Atalaya’s hips and pulled her into his embrace and murmured in her ear, “I’m definitely here.”  After a moment he added, “And I told you that I would determine the toll after Cirilli’s lesson.  How can I adequately determine the cost before I know how long you plan to keep me out of here?”  One of his hands moved up to grasp the back of her head.  Tilting her head, he claimed a kiss.  After several long moments, he pulled back and turned her towards the bed.  

“Up you go.  No wait,” he contradicted himself.  Reaching for her belt, he removed it.  “Arms up” he commanded as he pulled her tunic off.  “Now, up on the bed.”

Atalaya looked at him with a quizzical expression on her face.  “This is not the time for …”

Vasilya interrupted her.  “Inman and I were talking earlier.  Both you and Nevil need a massage to work out the muscles you were using this morning.  Especially you, doing all those … katas?  Those sword dances.  So, up you go.”  Vasilya gave her a little boost unto the bed, guiding her onto her stomach.  “We will just add this to the toll you are going to owe me tonight.”  

For the next little while, Vasilya worked on her back and arms, working out the knots and releasing the tense muscles.  

Oh Mielikki, he has gotten a lot better at this over the past couple of months.  Aiyee, that was a sore spot.  It’s too bad we don’t have enough time to get all the spots that need his ministrations.  My legs are going to be very sore tomorrow.  I’ll need to do more stretches after I finish working with Cirilli.  Tonight we need to continue this.  

Sighing, Atalaya rolled over.  “Please hand me my tunic.  I’m pretty sure that Cirilli should be turning up soon.  My being undressed will not establish the appropriate student/teacher rapport that is needed between us.”

Inman drew out his belt in one slick motion with a satisfying crack. Nevil turned with surprise, "Well right to it..." 

Inman laughed "no, work then play."  He pulled off his shoes, "just getting comfortable."  While Inman was digging through his pack looking for a small vial of liquid, Nevil untied her hair, stripped bare, and slid half under the covers face down.   Inman approaches the end of the bed with a vial of liquid and a hand towel. Then he roughly untucks the single sheet at the foot of the bed, folding it over exposing Nevil's feet.  

Inman crawled out of his shirt, onto the bed, and over Nevil.  Kissing his way up her bare back and neck. "I am sorry," he whispered.  For what?  Inman places his cold hands over her bad shoulder and laughs a little. Ah, that's cruel!  Nevil drew a sharp breath. "You enjoy that too much," she hissed.  "Hush and take your medicine," he quipped. In apology, Inman's mage hand traced lazy lines gently over her back and through her hair while the cold compress of his hands remained. Wizards do have perks.  

After several minutes, "Is that nightcap setting in yet," he softly asked.  "Mmmm, yes." Nevil said.  I could become one with the bed. Inman releases his cold on her shoulder and places Nevil's arms in anatomically neural positions.  He pours oil into his hand and places the vial on the small towel on the side of the bed.  He warms his hands with his cantrip and gently slides them up Nevil's back and over her neck and shoulders. Ah, warm.  He then methodically follows his sequence of muscle groups, gradually applying deeper pressure, following lines of fibers, searching for knots.  When he finds one he takes his time to work them into submission while keeping her relaxed.  He reads her body with devotion, watching her breath, listening to the way she groans, feeling her muscles tense or relax.  Nevil's world narrows to feel only where they meet and where he leads.  

Two full sequences later, Inman stops. Nevil sighs and smiles wide, "that was a nice journey."  Then she asked coyly, "where else can you lead me?"  Inman grins and kisses the back of her neck. "several places my love..." he growled.  "But you should be still and let it sit on you for a bit."  He lifted a leg and rolled over to her side. Laying next to her studying her peaceful expression for some time before Nevil opened her eyes. I don’t want to move.  I could just be.

Then Nevil said with a heavily relaxed tone, "These are not skills you hone by yourself. I find it hard to believe there were no others."

"Well..." he says matter of factly. "There were a few friends and lovers along the way. We have both lived some life."

With her face still smooshed to the bed, Nevil grins  as though she has uncovered a gem of insight.  "Yes, I know...   but I want to hear more.  You know my history.  But parts of you are a mystery." She teases,  "or do I need to get you drunk first?"

Drawing the sheet to her chest and rolling to her side to face him, "I am relieved to hear you did not cloister yourself completely."  It would be a shame to waste your talents. "But truely, a few lovers only? Nothing more?  Did they not see how wonderful you are?”

 

Inman smiled softly at her. "Thank you for that, he murmured. The ship rolled languidly on the waves, the warmth inside the cabin like a drug. Nevil leaned his face against her shoulder blade, sighing, his breath fluttering across her skin. "Timing was never right. I've been...well..." he signed again. "You know how it is. And honestly, I've just never...it's just never worked out long term."

This is not the confident man I have known. What has changed? Nevil shifts and Inman raises his head to give her freedom.  She looks at him with comforting eyes as she lays on her back and gestures for him to lay his head on her bare chest. Inman draws close and lays near. As she runs her hands through his hair.  "Well, I am blessed to be yours.  Especially today, you have been noticeably spoiling me."  I have wanted to bed you since I woke. But it takes two. Rolling her fingers over his back and shoulders "You seem to be relaxing now.   Shall I keep you in my arms?  Or I could bring you a book and cup of tea? Or would you prefer something more energetic?  The afternoon is yours my dear.” 

A wicked smile curls his lips. "Energetic is good. Energetic in your arms, even better."

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Chapter 3: Meditation? 

Cirilli sat at the top of the ship’s mast in the crow’s nest with Kyle, watching for ships or other dangers on the horizon.  Facing the back of the ship with the wind blowing briskly on her face and tossing her now dry hair around she gnawed at her bottom lip.  It was almost time to go find Atalaya for her lesson on meditation.  Unconsciously she rubbed her right shoulder and arm, trying to ease the soreness out of it.  Lifting it above her to climb up to the crow’s nest had been painful.  Maybe Atalaya’s offer of Macterah’s cream wasn’t such a bad idea.  “But I don’t want them to think I’m soft.  I can be tough.  But, … Atalaya did say that she had used some…”  Checking the position of the sun again, she turned to Kyle, “The watch is yours alone.  I need to find Atalaya for more lessons.”  

Kyle nodded.  “Good luck with that.  Join me later if you want.”

Cirilli eased her way out of the crow’s nest and made her way down to the ship’s deck.  Rubbing her shoulder after that excursion she headed down the stairs.  Remembering Nevil’s comment earlier that morning about needing to get used to doing things in  her armor she went into her room and donned her studded leather armor and then, since Atalaya wasn’t in the common room she made her way to the stern cabin.  Seeing the closed door, she took a deep breath and knocked firmly on it. 

Atalaya called out, “Come on in Cirilli.”  

Cirilli entered the room to find Vaz sitting behind Atalaya on the bed, braiding her hair.  Atalaya smiled at her and asked, “Ready for your lesson?”

Cirilli looked around, “I think so.  Where are we going to have it?”
Atalaya, noticing the girl’s nervousness, smiled at her.  “Don’t fret so.  Meditation is not something to be afraid of.”  Then seeing her armor added, “Why don’t you take your armor off.  You need to be comfortable for this to work.”

She then turned to Vasilya.  “Thank you for your help.  I’ll see you later.”

Vasilya squeezed the back of Atalaya’s neck and scooted off the bed.  Looking at Cirilli he gave her a little side hug and whispered into her ear, “There is nothing to be worried about.  She loves you, you know.”  Vasilya leaves the room, quietly closing the door.

Atalaya watches Cirilli as she slowly removes her armor.  “So tell me.  What do you know about meditation?  Has Joan or any of the Greenleaf’s taught you anything about it already?”

She sets her armor by the door and comes back to stand near Atalaya.  Her hands fidget, unable to find a place to settle them. "Comfortable, right." Cirilli quietly says as she shifts her weight from foot to foot, swaying a little bit, as if she is pacing in place.   "They said it was important, but I didn't want to be... I didn't see how it would help with fighting... but today," she said, fingering her throat.  "And seeing your katas..."  

“Easy child.”  Atalaya pats the bed.  “Come sit here with me.  I would tell you to relax, but I realize that will take some time and trust.”  Atalaya watches as Cirilli gingerly climbs onto the bed.  “Good.  We are just going to talk now.  No meditation.”

             “I want you to think about what you have heard about meditation from me.  And from others, those in our family here and now, but also from your life before you joined us.  And then I want to know what questions you have about meditation.”  She leans back slightly to better take in Cirill’s posture and expression.  

Cirilli sits with her legs over the side of the bed sitting on her hands, in a makeshift self-hug. She stares at the door for a while, then indirectly glances at Atalaya to judge her reaction. "Will I still be aware of what is around me?  Can I break the meditation whenever I want to?”

     “Yes, meditation is under your control at all times.  What is going on around recedes somewhat, but in need you can snap out of it when you feel the need to.  And that is whether it is because you become uncomfortable or something is happening that you need to address.  

“It didn't seem to be that way this morning for your kata.  You looked unaware.”

     “Yes, this morning during the katas after my match with Nevil, I was in a very deep meditation state.  But I could have stopped at any time.  I actually performed four katas during that time.  I could have stopped at the end of any one of those.  If a big terrible sea monster had climbed aboard and was going to attack me, or anyone else, I could have broken out to defend myself and the rest of us.”  Atalaya looks at Cirilli for a moment,  “Meditation is not like a charm spell put on you that compels you to do something.  Instead, it is a discipline that you are going to actively achieve within yourself that will help you achieve focus and balance.

“Do I have to make my mind still?  When I don't keep it busy, sometimes my mind wanders to dark..."  Cirilli's eyes looked wet and as desperate as a cornered animal, when she looked directly at Atalaya, "what if I'm not..."  She stiffened trying to put on a mask of strength, but failing utterly, "what if I can't do it?  Will you still let me stay?”

     Atalaya gathers Cirilli into her arms, holding her tightly.  She utters something softly under her breath in Elvish, as she rubs Cirilli’s back and waits.  When she finally feels at least some of the tension release from Cirilli’s body, she tilts Cirilli’s eyes into hers. “You are mine.  Not by birth, but by choice.  Both my choice and yours.  You do realize that I am much more elven than human in my beliefs and practices, yes?”  Atalaya waits for Cirilli to tentatively nod.  “That definitely applies to understanding and practice of family.  In common I use the word ‘ward’.  It explains the relationship between us more easily to other humans and to many people of other races.  But, the elves don’t make such a distinction.  When I accepted wardship of you from the mayor, I accepted you as my daughter.”

        “Oh, if you had wanted to return to your parents during the first few weeks that you were with me, with us, I would have allowed you to do that.  It would have broken my heart, but I would have.  Now, however, there is no way that I would or could give you up.  You are my chosen daughter forever.  My parents have accepted you as such and as their granddaughter.  A little something like having trouble with a skill that you are trying to learn will never separate you from me.”

      “Do you understand that,”  Atalaya taps Cirilli’s head, “here?”  She taps Cirilli’s heart.  “And do you feel it here?”

       Cirilli stares into the distance still laying with her head on Atalaya.  She wipes the few tears from her face.  Cirilli speaks with an unsteady voice and she sniffles between pauses,  "I do.  I know... but so much has changed... I see where I am... but sometimes, I don't feel like I am me and it doesn't feel real."  She looks up to Atalaya's face,  "Is that wrong?"

Atalaya takes Cirilli’s face in her hands, holding it briefly.  Then she wipes her finger under each of Cirilli’s eyes to gather any lingering moisture.  Cirilli, her eyes still closed, feels a gentle kiss at the corner of each of her eyes and then her head is cradled against Atalaya’s shoulder once again.  “Honey, you have turned your whole life upside down.  You are not the same little girl you were before the cult came to Parabor.  I have worried because you have seemed to push all your feelings aside without experiencing them.  And a part of what you are feeling is what all young people on the verge of growing up feel.  As you move from childhood to adulthood your life changes and you become responsible for who you are to become.  While I do not know this for certain, for you have shared only a little about your life before you came to live with me, but it seems to me that you were given few if any choices as you were growing up.  The course of your life was set for you by your parents.  Perhaps in part because they were trying in their own way to protect you from the Demon Cult we encountered just recently.  Even the first couple of months with me, you were not really able to control your own fate.  But once you showed your determination to become a ranger, you started taking your fate into your own hands.  You are learning to take your own life into your own control.  That has to feel different from being totally controlled by your parents.  You are creating the grown up you.  Your past does have a part in who you will become, but so will the choices you start making now.  I’m probably just confusing you with what I’m saying.  Think about it, and I will think about a better way to explain it too.  But know, I think that what you are feeling is normal.  

     “As for learning to still your mind, yes, you will learn to do that.  It sounds simple at first glance, but it is something that you will spend your lifetime learning to perform.  Were you there when I told Nevil that I thought that today was the first time I reached the meditation state that my Master Raloris had tried to teach?  That took many, many years of practice.”  She gave Cirilli another tight squeeze.  “My father did not disown me when I couldn’t do it.  Nor did he when I struggled to understand the beginning technique that you are going to start using.  With time and practice you will be able to do this.  You may find that it is the easiest thing that you will ever be asked to learn.  Or it may be hard to discipline your mind at first, or it might be somewhere in between.  All that really matters is that you make the effort and practice regularly.”  

Cirilli sits up and pulls her legs under her on the bed.  Wiping the last of her tears and looking into Atalaya's eyes for reassurance, "ok. I think I can do that.”

     Atalaya observed Cirilli as she sat on the bed struggling to control her misgivings.  Coming to a decision. She changed her plans for the afternoon.  “I was going to try to answer your questions and talk about the whys and wherefores of meditation, but I think that instead we are going to just start and let you see that there is nothing to worry about and we can address the other stuff later.  

Atalaya scooted off the bed and stood beside it, placing her hand on Cirilli’s shoulder to stop her from getting up.  “I want you to lie down on the bed.”  She gives Cirilli a moment to position herself.  “Great.  See, already a pro at this.”  Atalaya brings the chair over to the bedside.  “I’m just going to sit here by you.”  She takes Cirilli’s hand in hers.  “Now can you squeeze my hand really, really, really hard?  Try doing that now.”  Atalaya waits for Cirilli’s response. 

As Cirilli lay on the bed, she looked stiff and drawn up.  Her chin nearly buried in her chest trying to look at Atalaya under her furrowed brow.  Her weak attempt to squeeze Atalaya's hand belie her uncertainty of the direction of study.

      Atalaya sees her skeptical look.  “I’m serious young lady. Come on, you can squeeze harder than that. … Good.  Now relax your hand.  Let it go limp.”  Atalaya removes her hand from Cirilli’s and reaches for her opposite hand.  “Okay, now do that again, but with this hand. … That’s right, keep squeezing as hard as you can.”  After a bit she says, “And now relax your hand.  Let everything go limp.”  

“Now, tell me what that felt like and what if anything you were thinking as you were squeezing my hands.”

Cirilli releases a deep sigh, as if she is half trying to convince herself to give a good faith effort; no matter how strange this technique appears.  "Easy, it was so tight…  I could feel all my fingers, palm, and wrist. When I let go, the feeling faded." She pauses, considering what to share, "...but I worry I will not be good at this like you.”

“You are doing fine Cirilli.  This takes time and practice. You should have felt your fingers and palm and wrist just as you did.  And the fading is good too.  It is the tension fading away.  And your thoughts are just thoughts.  When meditating we acknowledge them and send them away. ”

“Okay, you are going to do that again.  This time as you are squeezing my hand and those feelings and thoughts come up, give them a silent ‘hello’ and then on your next exhale I want you to see your breath blowing them away from you.”  Seeing Cirilli’s skeptical face return, Atalaya adds, “Just indulge me.  Feel the thought, greet it and then blow it away.”  Atalaya takes Cirilli’s right hand in hers.  “It helps if you close your eyes.  Good.  Now squeeze my hand really hard. … harder… harder… Good.”  Atalaya removes her hand and reaches for the left hand again as she says.  “Just keep your eyes closed.  I’m going to hold your left hand now.  Good.  Now squeeze. … harder… harder… Good.  Relax.  Keep your eyes closed and just relax for a minute.” Atalaya watches for any expression on Cirilli’s face. 

It is clear that Cirilli’s is working and thinking about something.  Her eyes move, her face shifts slightly back and forth between neutrality and frustration.

“You are strong, especially with your right hand.  I think we will modify this just a bit so that I can use my hands tomorrow.  It’s okay, you can open your eyes whenever you are ready.”  

When Cirilli does open her eyes she sees Atalaya digging through her pack and probably the bag of holding searching for something.  Finally she takes out a pair of old socks that she hadn’t had a chance to darn and some of her leather pieces.  Tossing Cirilli the socks with a “Hold on to these for me please,” she takes the leather to the desk and lays it out.  With her dagger, she cuts several of the scraps into lengths slightly longer than the width of Cirilli’s hand, and bundles them together until they are a comfortable grasping width.  With her leather awl she punches holes into the ends of the leather and ties them together with lacing.  Placing one grouping of leather into each sock she folds it around the leather grip, and fasteners the end by folding one edge over.  As Atalaya worked, Cirilli sat up to watch what she was doing, questions written on her face.  

As she studies Atalaya's crafting.  Trying to mask her uncertainty,  "is this like your prayer focus?  The Goddess of socks?"

Atalaya laughs.  “Goddess of socks?  No, no goddesses here.  I just wanted to give you a little padding to this leather grip.  I want you to really squeeze hard on it and I don’t want it to hurt while you do that.  

But then Cirilli looks tentative, as if asking the question, dooms her to failure. "what about the ones that are heavy and don't blow away?”

Atalaya rests her hand on Cirilli’s shoulder, giving her a gentle squeeze and letting her hand rest there as she answers her.  “For those stubborn heavy thoughts, or painful thoughts that try to linger, take another breath, hold it for a moment and then as you breathe out allow them to follow the wind of your breath.  If after a several breaths they are still there, think about the grip in your hand, how it feels and how your hand feels as you squeeze, and then actually squeeze the grip and try your breathing again, but this time, instead of saying ‘Hello’, say ‘Goodbye’ as you breathe it away.  If I am guiding you, I will see that you are still working in the same place and will give you time to release the thoughts.  If they still do not move away, you move on to the next muscle group.  This is a learned skill.  It takes practice.  Were you able to move into a forward stance and throw a forehand strike accurately and at full strength the first time you tried?  Of course not.  It is the same with meditation.  You will need to strengthen the muscles of your mind for this.”

Cirilli rolled a padded grip over and over in her hands while listening. Cirilli shakes her head with Atalaya's question. "So this is like a training dummy and I'm going to use it to get stronger."  

“The first thing you need to be able to do when meditating, at least the way the elves and rangers do it, is to be able to completely relax the body.  The first exercise that you need to master is how to relax each of the muscles in your body.  The way we do that is to purposefully tense a muscle or group of muscles and then actively release and let all the tension fade away, just like you did when you were squeezing my hands.  I want you to hold these, one in each hand.  Great.  Now I want you to close your eyes and listen to me as I direct you when to squeeze and when to release.  Can you do that?”

Cirilli nods and moves to position herself as before.  Her body is far from relaxed, but she is less stiff and drawn up as before.

“Okay, eyes closed.  Good.  Now, squeeze your right hand as tightly as you can.  Good, … now harder, … and harder.  Good, hold it tightly. And relax your hand.   That’s right.  Let all the tenson flow out of your hand, out of your arm.  Any feelings you have, any thoughts, give them a silent hello and then blow them away as the tension flows out of your hand and arm.  That’s good.  Just rest there for a moment.”  Atalaya watches over Cirilli as she tries to relax and to “blow” the thoughts away.  That’s right little warrior, push those thoughts away and just relax.                                                                                                                                                    

“Excellent.  Now squeeze the leather straps with your left hand.  As hard as you can, yes.  More.  Hold it tighter.  … Very good.  Now relax this hand, this arm.  If you start thinking about anything but my voice, just tell it hello and then blow it away with your next breath.  Good.  Slow steady breaths.  You are good at this.  Let your arm just float there on the bed.”  Again, Atalaya watches as she tries to follow her directions.  

During the exercise, Cirilli’s breath evens and slows.  Her body, bit by bit, falls into the bed, however; her face tells the full story; stillness punctuated by twinges, her brows the berms of struggle, her mouth hints at words said with force. 

      Atalaya watched Cirilli try to release whatever thoughts she was having.  What battles are you fighting in there Cirilli.  I wish that I could take them away for you, but that is something only she can do.  But, perhaps we can guide her, perhaps.  I need to talk to Nevil about this.   … And maybe Sorrow.  

“Okay, open your eyes and look at me.  Were you ever out of control?  A time that if you really wanted to stop and would not be able to do so?

Cirilli nods, “It is my choice.  I am in control.”

      “Yes it is.  Always remember that.  You have the ultimate control during this process.  I will guide you.  I can suggest things to help you as you try to reach the level of relaxation that we are searching for.  But, only you can do the work to get there.  

“This is the basis of meditation.  The controlled active resting of your mind.  This, at a much deeper level is what allows me to trance rather than sleep and to need less time to recover from the day’s activities and from any combat wounds I may have taken than others need.”

“It allows rangers to be able to focus and remain clear minded when we need to fight, when we are tracking, assisting others who need our help or when we need to be able to think critically as we plan strategy for whatever we are facing.” 

“So any questions?”

Cirilli sits up, and appears very reflective. “How long did it take you to… find peace? To not have to struggle?”

      Atalaya took a deep breath and her gaze turned inward as she searched for the answer.  At the same time she rose from the chair to sit beside Cirilli on the bed and to bring her into a hug.  “Peace has a cost, Cirilli.  It requires facing those things that disturb it and finding a way to deal with them.  I was younger than you when Ailwin introduced me to meditation.  We started shortly after I turned nine years old.  I told you that this is the first stage of learning the trancing that the elves use in place of sleep.  It seemed to me that most elven families started teaching their children around that age.  I had not experienced any huge traumas, … ah, any terrible things as you have at that time, but all the little things that children struggle with will disrupt the process also.  Our brain doesn’t like to get quiet.  It searches for something to dwell on and delights at bringing that thing forward whenever we try to quiet it.  It took me a long time to learn to dismiss those little things.  Or at least it seemed a long time to my nine year old self.  But, I worked on it daily at Ailwin’s insistence.  And after maybe 6 months he was pleased enough with my progress to let me move on to the next step.  But there are still times that I struggle with this first step.  After we have to fight, when I have to kill someone, on those nights I have to work much harder to quiet my mind.  I have to accept what has happened and give it up.  I have to find forgiveness… for myself and often for what or who I was fighting.  Last night it took me a long time to pass through this stage of preparation.” 

“I cannot know, but I think that there is much that has happened to you that you have not yet allowed yourself to look at, feel and release.” Noting Cirilli’s look of alarm and slight flinch away from her, “No, you don’t have to tell me right now.  But, I think that in time you are going to need to talk to me or to someone else of your choice.  Sharing our hurts makes it easier to face them.  And once faced, they are easier to send away from our thoughts.  … The sharing helps to lighten them since you are no longer carrying them all by yourself.”   

Cirilli gets very still, and while most people wouldn't notice, Atalaya can see her demeanor visibly change.  Her eyes glaze over and she enters an indirect long stare.  She follows instructions but it is clear she is not fully participating. Cirilli has had an unusually active day and seems really tired. [Cirilli wis save 12, minor fail; atalaya perception roll 22, and Insight 5, fail ]

 

Looking with pride at Cirilli, Atalaya said, “That was a very good session.  I think that you are going to learn this faster than I did.”  Taking Cirilli’s hand, she pulled her up into sitting.  “We will work again tomorrow if we are on the ship.  If we are on land, we will have to see how the day goes.  You need to practice this on your own each day.  Most rangers that I know, perform their meditation in the evening or night as it replaces sleeping for those of us who are elven or half elven.  But when I was first learning, I often did my practicing first thing in the morning.  The house was quiet and I was almost always awake before my brother and sister.  It was a good time for me.  You will need to decide when will be best for you.  Maybe try both and see what works better for you.  Between now and our next practice you need to do what we did here just now.”  

Listening to Atalaya's voice but not hearing her words, Cirilli relaxes again and starts to return to herself.

“Squeeze the grips as hard as you can two times in each hand or until you breathe any thoughts away.”

Cirilli looks at the grips in her hands and then back at Atalaya.

“But if you can’t release them after several tries, go on to the next area.”  

“Now comes the fun part.  Wiggle your toes and fingers, shake out your hands.  You are done with this for now.”  Atalaya reached for and held Cirilli’s hands again, pulling her upright.  Let me give you a hug and then off you go.”  Atalaya did just that. 

Cirilli hugs Atalaya tightly and lingers longer than normal. “Thank you,” she whispers.  Then she walks to pick-up her armor.

 “Oh, and take these to your room and bring them to our practices for now.  You will get to the place where you won’t need these.  But for now they are aides that will help you learn.”

Cirilli, with armor over shoulder, returns to pick-up the grips. “Yes, I can do that.  I can do little steps.”  Cirilli briskly leaves the room, she sets her items in her room, and runs up on deck to return to the crows nest.  She sits quietly, letting the wind blow through her hair, listening to familiar stories from Kyle.

Chapter 4: Atalaya and Inman

Inman finds Atalaya's armor and holding it in one hand, he waves and swirls his hands over it.  Dirt, sweat, and salt, lift from the leather and clump in the air.  With a flick of his hand he flings the small clod into the waste pail he brought with him. 

Seeing Atalaya's door open, he knocks.  He hears an invitation and peers inside, holding the cleaned armor out to Atalaya.  “How did it go?”

      “Thank you.  This looks much clearer, and the salt is out of it.  This will make it much easier to oil.  It isn’t made for frequent ocean adventures, but having it has saved my skin several times recently”

      “Cirilli, she is a little warrior.  This is going to be difficult for her.  I think that she has pushed a lot of the trauma from being taken by the cult and the hurts she had from her parents’ raising of her down deep into her mind.  When she tries to relax, the memories surface.  I am going to need to tread carefully with her.  Somehow I will need to find a balance between pushing her to address her past and not pushing her too quickly.  And between being her guardian and being her instructor.  I think Nevil is getting the easier role this trip.

      “Were any of the spells in those spell books we gave you of any use to you?”   

"Your dearly departed friend was a necromancer, I gather." Inman says. "They are interesting, but I'm not sure how I feel about using them for anything other than academic study."

“I’m sorry that there was not anything usable in those spellbooks.” After a short pause she adds, “Neither of those books came from friends, Inman.  One was from a cult member that ambushed us when we finally figured out how to get into the Master’s vault behind her house.  I’m not sure that I even remember where we picked up the other book.  But whoever had it before use was not a friend.”  Atalaya thinks for a moment.  “If they are destructive or immoral spells, perhaps we should destroy the books.  Will the salt water destroy them?  I’ve never thought about what would be needed to destroy them.”  

He raises an eyebrow, looking amused. "Yes, Atalaya, I know they weren't friends. I say we keep them. It's wise to know all you can about your enemies. And the books are no danger to anyone. Anything we have that might give us insight into our foes is potentially useful." 

“Alright then.  You keep them; and keep them out of the hands of other necromancers, please.”  Atalaya watches him as he leaves the cabin.  

*************************************************************************************

     Atalaya sat back down on the edge of her bed.  As she gazed out of the porthole her mind wandered over a session she had recently completed with Cirilli.  “What are we going to do to help Cirilli.  Her body has healed but her heart and mind have been hurt deeply.  I need my father or one of the priestesses of Mielikki although I do not think that she would accept help from a cleric.  But I don’t have access to either, so how can Vaz and I help her?  I’m going to need Nevil’s help too.  Nevil as her weapon instructor… yes, that is good.  The weapons instruction will both give her an outlet for her emotions, but will also be an avenue to bring them to the surface.  Vaz is a friend and maybe even a father figure.  Perhaps Nevil will also become a friend and someone she can talk out her feelings with.  And me?  I’m going to need to find a way to be both her guardian and provide her with all the love her mother should have given her as she was growing up and to be the one who is going to be guiding her to face everything that has happened to her.  Goddess, please help me.  This is a fine line that I am going to have to walk.  Finally shutting down those thoughts and picking up her armor and leather oils, she headed out in search of Nevil.  

Chapter 5: Nevil & Atalaya Discuss Teaching Meditation

Nevil was relaxing in a hammock in the common area below deck, swinging in the light of a porthole, reading her prayer book.  Seeing Atalaya emerge, she lowers her book and watches her approach.  Smiling, then noticing something more contemplative in Atalaya's face, "What weighs on you sister?  Feeling guilty for taking advantage of me in my half spent state today?  Don't worry, I forgive you.”

Atalaya laughed.  “No, you could have asked for a break before we sparred.  And you didn’t need to join Inman and me when we were performing the kata.  Although I’m glad you did.  It was a nice tribute to Master Elaria.”  Atalaya sees Nevil’s prayer book.  “Do you mind some company?”

Nevil, glad to see some sas in Atalaya, “This is all true.” Then sitting up in the hammock, “I never mind your company. Sit with me. Or we can grab another spot?”

“How about moving to the round table in the other room.  There isn’t much room in here and I have to oil my armor.  I didn’t see anyone there when I walked through.  It will give me some room to spread all this out.”

"Of course," Nevil slid out of the hammock and stretched her back.  Inman did a great job.  I feel like almost new.  Maybe he can teach me some pointers.  Nevil followed Atalaya to the round table and set her prayer book down.  "You know, mine could probably use a coat too with the salt."  Nevil ducked into her cabin to grab her mail and daubing pouch.  Then returning to the table she pulled a chair wide and sat, sitting the armor in her lap and the pouch on the table.  Opening the pouch, dipping the rag in the grease, and beginning her methodical process of applying a light coat to each ring, "How was the first lesson? You seem to have workings in your mind, your eyes are...  busy.  Or was it something with Boz?”

“In some ways Cirilli’s first lesson went better than I expected.  She did manage to relax her hands while using all the muscles in her arms, but getting her to relax her mind is going to take a lot of time.  She has a lot of hurt and pain that she has not even begun to process.  And she has become very good at numbing that hurt and pain.  When she slows down and it begins to rear its negative emotions and thoughts she shuts down again.  I’m going to have to work really slowly with her to help her get past that.  And I don’t think she is going to be happy with a slow pace at any lessons.  At least with her actual sword work, with the techniques and strengthening etc she can progress as fast as she is able.”

Atalaya works the oil into the leather of a vambrace.  I’m wondering if I should start her working on the katas.  Perhaps the focus needed would help nudge her into a quieter mind?  I don’t know.  I wish that I could talk with my father or with Master Elaria.  I feel much too young to be guiding anyone through this.”

Nevil listens closely as she works her armor.  With a contemplative look, Nevil exhales a long sigh,  "Many people with haunted pasts seek the peace of our Lady Eldeth. In addition to my own, I have heard many of their stories.  I think I may be able to offer some wisdom, but first, “what did you instruct her to do with intrusive dark thoughts?”

“I started with the same exercise my father gave me; to acknowledge the thoughts that come up and to breathe them away.  It was hard for her, but I think that she actually managed to do so a couple of times.  But with her surface mind starting to settle she started bringing up more threatening thoughts.  I think that she is going to have to directly face those rather than just trying to nudge them away.  When I was learning with my father, those were two different practices.  When things came up that I couldn’t just push away, once the meditation session was completed he would either get me to talk about what had blocked me, or he would end the lesson and address the block totally outside the meditation lessons.  Cirilli closed down.  I pushed a little too hard and too much.  I’m guessing that she is going to need to address her issues outside of meditation.  At least the bigger ones.”  

Atalaya grows silent as she continues to think over her lesson with Cirilli.  “Cirilli has become very good at burying her feelings and pushing back those things that have happened to her.”  Reaching for another piece of her armor she wiped the oily rag over the leather.  “I have considered whether or not having her learn something of Eldath.  But, I think that before looking for peace, she needs to deal with the pain.”  Atalaya looks devastated.  “What I wouldn’t do to bear the pain for her.  But that would only ease my heart, not hers.”

“What would you do, if Cirilli was your daughter?”  

 

Nevil stops her work and looks to Atalaya.  "I understand your mother's instinct.  It is not hopeless and for as much as I would love to share Eldath’s teachings, we also learn when to judge timing and appropriateness.  Neither are good here." 

Nevil smiles warmly, "If Cirilli were my daughter, I would tell her the story I am about to tell you. If you will indulge me..."

"When Magrim was first born, before the master and Inman, one of the first tasks Seraphina assigned me was to courier a package from Saltmarsh to Loudwater.  I was instructed to steer wide, away from Riverport, and to stay off the main roads as much as possible.  Patrol activity in the area had been heavily active and in hindsight, the package was likely "sensitive" in nature."

"I had taken the trip through the wilds and back trails several times with others but this was my first time alone. No doubt you have seen this route with your own eyes. So, you likely know that it is generally peaceful; through the low rolling hills of the Delimbiyr Valley, the grasslands and scrub, and the green of the tributaries in the river basin. Beautiful country."

Atalaya nods to herself, as Nevil describes the landscape.  “Yes, the valley can be beautiful… until it is not.”

"I had been traveling for several days after the point the footpath crossed east over the Iron Road and over the river that runs along it to Secomber.  That's when I first noticed a lone grey wolf.   He was large,  and with the uneven, trotted gait, of lanky legs and larger than normal paws.  Perhaps he was young, perhaps he was rejected from his pack, but I suspected he was hungry, because he was bold. Throughout the day, I would catch glimpses of him; birds would flush, or I would turn to see him dart into the scrub. Game was scarce that winter and spring was late to arrive. I began to wonder if I was being pursued."

"I kept vigilant that night, expecting him to visit.  Then as the night stilled and darkness lay heavy, he came to the light's edge. His eyes locked, his hackles raised, he circled and signaled his intent. It became clear as he probed for weakness or opportunity, that I was viewed as prey."

"Then the peace broke.  At first we roared at each other.  I shouted, cursed him, stood bold, and waived a sword. He ruffled fur, gnashed teeth, growled, and finally lunged. We scuffled several times but neither was able to connect a crippling blow. He would dip again into darkness to pick another moment. Again and again he came." 

"Then as the night wore on, with us both scraped and bruised in a stalemate, he tilted his head back, his neck long, and he howled. I could feel every hair on my body stand.  For the rest of that first night, there was no sleep. I was consumed with fear, wondering if others would come, imagining the worst in the darkness, and waiting for him to return."

"By morning, exhausted though I was, I left as soon as it was light.  For half the day I walked, without his sign. Then standing on a low rise in the high sun, I looked back over a long plain.  He was there at a distance, trotting alone, but still boldly following, watching and waiting."

"The second night came. As before, he probed again and again, but with lessened vigor; a test of my will to fight and a conservation of energy for him.  It was now a battle of endurance.  So each time he approached the light, I stood to face him and stare him down, and each time he withdrew.  In and out of the shadows he went, and for a second night, I did not sleep."

"By the third day, I was too tired to make much distance towards the next town and he didn't bother to hide.  That evening, he sat just outside the fire's light, only his eyes betray his location.  I nodded off several times, waking in a panic, frantically looking for him, to then find him watching me from another direction.  Once, I woke to find him stalking towards me.  I was losing the battle."

"Then deep into that night, another figure appeared at the light's edge; an elven ranger, named Wynd.  I had known him from my previous work.  He had heard rumors of a desperate lone wolf plaguing travelers and was patrolling the path.  His timing was perfect.  With his arrival, the balance of the struggle had changed. My wolf disappeared and I slept.  In the remaining days of travel with Wynd, eyes would appear in the night but they stayed at bay."

"What is my point here after that long story?"  Nevil sighs and looks directly at Atalaya,  "when you still feel hunted, and you can't find the wolf, you wonder where it circles; and how many friends it brings to dinner."

"You may be asking Cirilli to turn her back to a memory that still feels like a present danger. Even if that is not reality, it feels true. She is fighting a raw survival instinct.  So, yes you are correct, it has to be addressed for several reasons, but you may find forcing a direct approach to be counterproductive when you are trying to build a relationship with her.  

I can't help but think of this! https://youtu.be/-Vzu28hqq44?si=r717VQ4MkduGLcmb

That is powerful imagery. 

I know, right? I saw it years ago and still try to watch it periodically. It's like a tonic. 

If I may suggest a technique I learned in Tribor. Tyrn used a passive approach of student lead but teacher guided reflection.  He would help us to acknowledge the darkness when it comes, learn to stare it down, and just sit with it, to judge our feelings against the truth of our current situation.  Everytime you reframe the panic of the feeling into a safer truth, they get weaker and easier to dismiss in meditation."  

“Is that anything like what your father would do?”

Atalaya begins nodding to herself as Nevil continues talking.  Her hand stills, no longer rubbing the oil into her armor.  “You know, that does sound like something he said to me.  I was a little younger than Cirilli is now and we had gone out hunting.  We were tracking a small herd of deer, my father having me take the lead at finding the trail.  They were headed towards an open area with lots of grass and a little stream wandering through the glade.  What we didn’t know was that a group of goblins were also watching the glade, hoping to catch whatever they could as it came for water or to graze.  They were more organized than usual, and when I made my shot at the young buck I had targeted, the goblins exploded across the open glade, with what seemed like a constant stream of arrows directed at us. “ 

“To my young eyes, it seemed like a thousand goblins were attacking.  In reality it was only about six or eight.  Ailwin was able to drop four with his first volleys and I managed to take down another one that was advancing on me.  Then I was hit by an arrow in my thigh.  I thought I was going to die at that point.  I shot a few more arrows, but didn’t hit anything.  I wasn’t taking the time to actually aim the arrow.”  

“Ailwin killed the rest in short order and was at my side, removing the arrow and healing the wound.  We disposed of the vermin and then attended to the buck I had shot.  We made a travois onto which we placed the deer and my father pulled it back to the village.  It was my job to hide the trail.  I had to direct him where to go and then remove any traces that were left.  It was a long day.  The sun had long disappeared from the sky before we made it home.”  

“That night, when it was time for me to try to get into the trance state, I couldn’t even get into the beginning stages of relaxation.  The very stage we were working on with Cirilli today.  He stopped the meditation.  Then a few hours later he got me to talk about what had interfered with my being able to relax.  He made me talk about what I had done, thought and felt during that fight.  And what it had felt like to be shot and to know that I had to keep on fighting.”  

“The next night, he had me try to trance again.”  Atalaya stopped talking and looked at Nevil.  “Understand, I still had not been able to reach a trance state.  I could perform the relaxation stage and the centering stage but had not learned to move into an actual healing trance yet.  I think that took another year or so before I could reliably reach that state on my own.”  Atalaya shook her head slightly as she continued.  “I was not the best student when it came to meditation.  It was a struggle for me.”   Sighing, “I think it took a week of my father coaching me through the first stage, getting stuck, and his having me sit and contemplate on what had occurred in the glade, before I finally was able to achieve it again.”

Nevil works her armor listening to the story.  She smiles, "It is interesting to hear the story from your eyes.  Aliwin tells it a little differently. A father's fears and a father's pride."  

Nevil grins at Atalaya’s reaction, " I have received his council on my own path a few times. Did he tell you how that incident bothered his meditations as well? Not nearly as long of course, but a good lesson."

Atalaya sat, her thoughts on that long ago and almost forgotten incident.  “I like the way you phrased it, ‘reframe the panic of the feeling into a safer truth’.  You are correct in that it did become easier to dismiss it during meditation when the panic that the thoughts brought back to mind were stripped of their power to panic me.”  She finally picks up the oil cloth again and begins to work on her armor.  “I at least had already learned to relax my body and mind, and to be able to find my center before that attack occurred.  I needed to learn to face my fears and demons to get back to a relaxed state.  Cirilli is going to need to learn to face her fears before she can learn to fully experience the relaxed state.

Nevil flips her armor over, "It sounds like you already have your answer and a good template to follow."  She looks between Atalaya and a grab at fresh grease, "I suggest telling the story to Cirilli, explain how the process works and how long it took you. I also recommend keeping it separate from the practice of meditation."

“Yes, I think so too.”  Atalaya looks pensive.  Her attention focused inward as she continued to work on her armor.  “Yes, I have many such incidents that I can share with her, if that is what it takes.  She doesn’t really know much about my past.  There just hasn’t been the time for the telling of old family stories.  I’m not even sure what stories she would have heard from my mother when we went to Otterwell.  My mother kept Cirilli with her to talk and to get to know her while the rest of us ended up engaged in a couple of adventures.”  

A smile appears on Atalaya’s face and in her eyes.  “She and Vaz did get to meet Sossheni on that trip.” 

Atalaya pulls herself out of her memory of her most recent trip to Otterwell.  “We need a campfire.  My father and I had many of these types of talks around the campfire after a day of hunting or learning ranger skills like how to find one’s way through the woods, what plants are edible, how to track.  Then, after our meal we would sit by the fire, roast sticks and talk.”   After another moment of silence she chuckles quietly as she adds, “I doubt Ivar would want me to start a campfire on the forecastle deck.”

Nevil hesitates, "if she gets stuck... There is always nightcap.  It cuts the anxiety and got me through some spots…” 

Atalaya studied Nevil for a few moments. “It is a possibility if she cannot face talking about what has happened to her.  But I would rather not start with that.  It can be helpful in the short term, but I would not want her to rely on it.  … Perhaps I would try your nightcap tea with her if I cannot get her to revisit those things that trouble her.”  After a few moments she added, “When she is older and has mastered the basics of meditation… of relaxation and centering… then the occasional use of nightcap as an aide for quickly reaching a meditative state can be her own choice.” 

Nevil nods, "I respect your judgment.  Let's hope it's not something you'll have to consider."  Does she see this as a weakness?  It's just a tool when used responsibly. Why not make it easier?"

Chapter 6:  Nevil Gets An Idea

After a quite bit of working the links, "When do you think we will make it back to your home?  All these stories since we met, our shared history, I've been thinking a lot about your father and Poppy.” Things I'd want to say with more time...

“I’m wondering the same thing.  I wish Cirilli didn’t have to be in the middle of all this.  She should be training and learning her craft now, not having to go into the thick of things with so little training.  A full elf who is as old as I am is still considered a child.  And there are days that I feel like a child, even though I’m not.  

I would like to head back there once we regain control of The Eye and have destroyed it.  And cleared out the cult from Parabor again.  But, I guess we won’t know for sure until circumstances allow us the freedom to go there.  I showed Cirilli and Vaz my mother’s home, Otterwell.  I would like them to see  my father’s village, and meet the ranger trainers there.”

"I also miss the fire chats of family and friends. How could we get the same feel?"  Nevil stops her work and looks around, "You know we should make a living room for a more comfortable group sit out here. A couple of pillows, a mattress in a hammock or two, some candles grouped under glass."  We could make a nice ship tradition of evening chats, music, and hand crafting."  I hope I didn't overstep.  "Think Ivar would mind? I bet the crew would like it too…”

“I’d like that.  But how could we do that?  There really isn’t room for something like that with that big hole in the floor to allow cargo in and out of the hold.”  Atalaya thought about it for a few minutes.  “I wonder if we could make some kind of a removable floor to cover the hole.  If we could make floor space we could certainly pick up pillows to use as cushions and make a low table to put a lantern to be the campfire.  We could store the items in one of the empty crews’ quarters when they aren’t being used.  Do you have any ideas of how to make a sturdy enough floor for us to be on but still have it able to be removed should we need to take on cargo… you know, like an altar or other big item?”

"Oh, I have several ideas on how I've seen it done on other ships. Grandfather was a master shipwright."  Nevil sets her armor down and approaches the hold entrance. "I'm surprised Ivar hasn't mentioned it already."  She inspects the beams and hold framing. "Well, the easiest one to build, and remove as needed, is a board and pin system."  She steps out the length of the opening, "For this size hole there would be three thick cross beams cut six inches longer than the opening."  Gesturing the size and direction with her hands, "the beams, generally four inch square, run port to aft, and are fitted with a loose dovetail that slides into notches cut into the floor.  When in place, they are flush with the floor.

Then standard planks are laid perpendicular to the cross beams and held in place with three quarter inch wood pins.  The pins are shaved so they are easy to remove with a hook and can be placed without a hammer.  As the planks are cut to only span the distance between beams, they would be easy to stow or remove as needed.  The whole thing, except the cross beams, can stack in one of the empty crew quarters.

Lashing around the ceiling beams that frame the opening to cargo hold would secure floor to ceiling tackle to which hammocks can be attached.  three tall if necessary, or just the floor level ones with ships mattresses and some pillows as a lounger.  That would leave the whole middle open as "regular" floor space."  Nevil looks with excitement to Atalaya, "what do you think?”

Atalaya watches as Nevil excitedly explains her idea of how to design more floor space for the common area.  “It sounds like it should work.  I would really like to have some more comfortable seating to work on projects and gather and talk with everyone.  I think you should talk to Ivar about your idea.  It’s our ship, but it's his ship, if you can follow that.  He’s the captain.  I wonder how big Stamfort is.  We are building up quite a shopping list.”  

Atalaya paces off the edges of the opening.   “I make the opening to be 16 ½ feet by a bit over 14 ½ feet.  You would need the longer beams to be 26 ½ feet then.  I don’t think those would fit into the crew quarter rooms, but since they would only need to be removed when we were taking cargo on or off, they could be pushed to the side of the common area and then immediately replaced once the loading was completed.

“No, ha, the ‘cross beams’ are at 90 degree angles to the ship.  So they are only fourteen and a half feet long. So you're right about pushing them to the side.  But that puts the plank length at a very manageable five and a half feet. These size timbers would be easy to find at any port with a shipwright.”

  “I think it could work, Nevil.  Then whatever we use as seating or tables could go into the empty crew quarter.  

Atalaya thinks for a moment.  “If Ivar gives his approval, I think we should ask Cirilli if she would like to help build and decorate the space.  Do you agree?”

Nevil grins, happy for a project, “Oh absolutely.  Will you help me sketch the ideas to discuss it with Ivar and estimate board feet?”

Seeing how excited Nevil has become with her ideas for the open area, Atalaya’s own excitement level increases.  “I’ll just grab my sketchbook and we can make a few sketches.  You get to provide the measurements.  Just a moment, I’ll be right back.”

Atalaya hurries back to her cabin and digs out her sketchbook and colored pencils from where she had stored them in the desk.  As she makes her way back to Nevil she meets Cirilli coming down the stern staircase,  “Cirilli, right on time.  Come join us.  Nevil has a great idea to get more usable space down here.”  At Cirilli's skeptical look, Atalaya adds, “We are going to see if Ivar will let us build a floor.  She’s got a great idea.  Come on, she can explain it much better than I can.”

Atalaya returns to Nevil with a confused Cirilli following her.  Atalaya sits down at the round table and starts flipping through the sketch pad looking for the next unused page.  Cirilli stands behind her, looking over her shoulder at Atalaya’s drawings.  

“Wait!” she cries.  “Is that me?”  She stops Atalaya from turning the page and looks at the drawing.  She sees several sketches of herself performing different tasks on the ship such as climbing to the crow’s nest, helping to pull the ropes to set the sails, swabbing the deck with Kyle and Rogelio, and standing at the ship’s helm with Annie explaining something to her.  Her eyes widen as she looks between Atalaya and the book.  “When did you draw these?  I didn’t see you drawing while I was doing these things.”

Atalaya pulls out the chair next to her.  “Come sit.  You can see easier that way.  I draw when there is time and nothing else that needs to be done.  Usually at night after I finish my trancing.  Sometimes while we traveled by wagon.  And I expect when I get bored with just sailing along and there is not anything else that requires my time at the moment.”  Taking a long look at Cirilli, as she takes the book from her and starts looking at the drawings more closely, she adds, “And sometimes when I am worried and need to think.”  

Atalaya gives Cirilli time to look and then takes the book back.  “Right now, I need to sketch this area of the ship and then Nevil needs to explain her design ideas again, slowly and correct me as I try to draw what she is seeing in her mind’s eye.  Atalaya roughs out a floor plan of the front area of the deck with the opening in the floor.  Looking at Nevil she asks,  “So how many cross planks and where exactly would they be located?”

While Atalaya and Cirilli enjoy their moment, Nevil grabs a fair length of scrap cord.  Then holding its length the breath of her extended arms, she compares its length to several deck boards.  Muttering to herself, "assuming they used standard length boards for this ship."  She marks the cord with the cold ashed stick used to light the stove.   Then she places the stick in her mouth, unknowingly marking her mouth with soot rather prominently.  She folds the standard length cord several times estimating feet and marking intervals. Turning with pride to Cirilli and Atalaya, "There, and now we have a measuring cord good enough for estimation."  

Cirilli starts laughing and points at Nevil’s mouth.  “You look like Sorrow now,” she exclaimed.  “I’ll have to tell him that he has competition for the charcoal now.”

Nevil looks with confusion, "what?" She looks at the stick, the soot on her hands... Oh, I got it on me. She leans closer to Cirilli with an overly loud whisper, "quick tell me where the evidence is! I don't want to get caught!" Cirilli gestures.  Then Nevil licks her hand and wipes her face.  After several more giggles and attempts the moment passes.

"Cirilli hold the end of this here and don't let it move," Nevil asks, handing one end of the cord to her.  After several measurements   "Damn, Atalaya you're rough guess is good.  Sixteen and a half feet by fourteen and a half feet."  Nevil gestures, "So the beams go this way and are spaced evenly." The planks run this way and are cut into thirds where the beams meet."

Cirilli is quick to help Nevil with her measurements.  As they work Cirilli shows more and more interest in the project.  “How do you know how to do this Nevil?  I thought that you helped your grandfather in his tavern when you were growing up.”

Nevil smiles warmly remembering, "no, I didn't live in the Inn until after grandfather passed away when I was your age.  For as long as I can remember before that, it was just me and him.  Father was at sea most of the time.  

But Grandfather was a master shipwright and his skills were well sought after.  Such that even after his body couldn't keep the pace of building, his mind was sharp.  So as long as I can remember, I would help him with measurements and well... this part. Until the work dried up."

Nevil sits remembering.  I never thought I would be doing this again... "and my husband Nathan was a carpenter.  I would also help him between, my other jobs."

“So yes, I know wood, but I would say my understanding is more academic with above average layman's tool work. Though I was thinking about taking up whitling again.”  I miss the feel of it. I guess I missed this too.  Nevil smiles nostalgically, "But we need a comfortable family spot to sit before I can do that.”

Cirilli’s brow furrowed.  “So the people at the Inn weren’t your family?  I thought you were living with them when you met Seraphina.”  She hesitated for a moment and then added, “I mean Poppy.”  

"Nope, just close neighbors that knew my family. With my father away, they were all I had for several years before I met Seraphina, and for several more after.  They were kind enough to treat me fairly, but it was still work at an inn and tavern in exchange for boarding. Remember, I told you we are a lot alike.”

Cirilli thought about what Nevil had just said.  “Well, yes and no.  It sounds to me like your father and grandfather loved you.  But meeting Seraphina seems to be like my meeting Atalaya.  But she didn’t take you with her?  You stayed at the inn.”  Cirilli seems to be remembering something.  “Seraphina can be such a grandmother when she wants to be.”

Nevil nodded, "I wasn't suggesting we were exactly alike, only that we made our family." Then with a little chuckle, "Serephina was present enough to be there when I needed her.  I am sure she watched and meddled in her way.”

After some quick calculations, "so, that's three four inch square beams, cut fifteen and a half feet long with double sided six inch dovetails; ninety, add ten percent, one-hundred, five and a half foot cut standard planks with double, three-quarter inch pinholes set two inches deep center; and one-hundred shaved three-quarter inch round, five inch long pins for materials." 

Atalaya stopped her drawing as she listened to Nevil spouting off numbers.  “I am glad you know what you are talking about, because I have no idea what you just said.”  After a moment she adds, “If that is your supply list, please repeat that a little slower.  And just what we need to buy… no that won’t work, just repeat that slow enough that I can get it written down.  Then you can show it to Ivar and explain what you want to do.”

Nevil chuckles and comes over to Atalaya, "sorry, here let me write it down.  The tradesman will check all of this, but it will save a lot of time and get us a better price."

Nevil playfully speaks over her shoulder, "Cirilli, if you don't mind, go drag Ivar down here if he's not in the middle of something.” Cirilli, eager to hear Ivar’s thoughts, jumps up and bounds up the stairs.

"We can buy all the materials pre-cut.  If we don't want to stay in port for the install... Do we have a set of carpenter's tools on board? But if we want it to look professional... we should stay in a port for the day, or for the two it would take. Assuming they have the materials on hand." Nevil grins, "this can work.”

“Well, we should be staying in Blue Haven for a few days while Sorrow,” Atalaya sneaks a look at Nevil, “... and probably Inman are looking for books to get us into the library in Candlekeep.  If you wanted to be at port while working on it, that might be a good time.”  Atalaya finishes a rough sketch of the proposal.  “How does this look?  Is this what you are envisioning?”

       Nevil looks closely at the sketch, “Yes, this is very good and will also be very helpful with the bid.”  Nevil thinks, “Yes, Blue Haven would work well.  And yes, I would stay with Ivar at the dock to help oversee the work.”  But I can't use my family name… to risky. “Hopefully there will not be a lot of questions about the pre-design. I can just say we were in discussions about the work at another port.”

“Alright, let’s see what Ivar thinks of your redesign.”  

Ivar clomps down the stairs, dragged by Cirilli holding onto his hand. "She says you all needed to show me something."

Nevil and Atalaya stood together offering Ivar the sketch.  Nevil explained with the zeal of a salesman, "Well for the price of some boreholes and minor dovetail slotting to your ship, we can add some pretty comfortable living space for the crew."  Looking over to Atalaya, "Atalaya did a great job with the sketching."  Nevil looks to Ivar who is studying the drawings,  "the planks and beams are removable and able to be stowed when the access to hold is needed."  Nevil looks at the drawings again, "on second thought, if six or eight inch plank is available, it would greatly reduce the number of boards and pins.  The materials cost is not bad.  We could get it done pretty easily within a two day stay in Blue Haven."  Nevil looks hopefully at Ivar, "What do you think?   We were hoping to get a little more of a family atmosphere here.  Seeing that we're going to be sailing a bit.”

Ivar looks over the drawings "Yes, the access panel will need to be removable, or Raven will have a fit." He nods, and a smile dimples his cheek. "I definitely like the idea of having a place to relax and hang out together. It would give me and Sorrow a place to practice, too. If we have the funds, I'm all in."

Nevil gets a glint in her eyes as though her childhood lives again, "Well, Ivar we have a project in Blue Haven then.  Let me play with the design and see if I can refine it a little bit to make it easier to use, fewer parts, and all that." Turning to Atalaya, "and, now we can have fun with ideas.”

“So, what kind of ideas are you looking for?  I would like the hanging couches to be big enough to seat 3 people.  That way, if someone was trying to work on a craft, or play an instrument they would have enough room to do so.”  Atalaya looks over at Cirilli, “Do you have any ideas?  Anything that you would like to see done?”  

Cirilli looks over Nevil’s shoulder at the sketch.  “Lots of color.  We could use some of the silks to make the pillows and coverings for the couch.  We should check out what is left down in the hold.”  Turning to Atalaya she asked, “There should still be silks, we didn’t sell them all did we?”

Atalaya came up to look at the sketches with Nevil and Cirilli, placing a hand on Cirilli’s shoulder, “Yes.  There are a number of silks rolls left.  Macterah used or sold a few but I think that we didn’t want to advertise that we had the missing silks by placing a bunch on the market.  They would make excellent pillows I think.”

Turning to Nevil, “So what do you think we need besides the wood?  What tools?  What other supplies?  We will need rope to hang the couches.  And if we want to make a table for the area, we will need hardware to allow us to secure the table in place, but still be able to remove the table when we need access to the hold. Do you have ideas about that?”

Nevil looks to Ivar for confirmation, "well, if the ship does not already have a decent set of carpentry tools then that should be our priority; not for this project, but for survival if something breaks."

Turning back to Atalaya, "along those lines, I recommend function over form.  It should be built for versatility.  Three hammocks and mattresses in a U-shape, open to the table, with an option for three more hammocks to hang above if we need to accommodate more "guests".  

Back to Ivar, "we can replace the most worn line topside and use the spent one for crafting. To secure the table, well, I don't think that's needed.  We can stow it in rough seas, or we could shave a notch in the planks for the legs to rest and find a better hold."

"So, for both projects, the living space and good training pells; we need the lumber listed here," she said pointing to the sketch.  "... a good carpenter's set, a basic tailor's set, three mattresses, six ships hammocks, furniture lumber, and a new line length for Ivar." 

Nevil sighs, "That doesn't count the decorative bits.  It's a list, but it doesn't have to be all at once, and we have hands and time...  The floor is the biggest part."

Nevil smiles. It's time to start living.

     Vasilya made his way below deck.  His interest had been peaked as he watched Cirilli nearly drag Ivar after her as she headed downstairs.  Stepping out of the galley, he saw the women gathered around Ivar, looking at the papers held in Nevil’s hand.  He worked his way to Cirilli and Atalaya, standing behind them, as he attempted to look over Atalaya’s shoulder.

     “What is going on down here?  You seem to be the center of attention, Ivar.”

      Atalaya reached for the papers, gently taking them out of Nevil’s hands.  “Look, Nevil has redesigned this area to give us a place to gather while we are sailing to Candlekeep.  We just need to build a removable floor first.  Once it is done, we won’t have to worry about tumbling into the hold during the night or with rough seas.”

Nevil looks up to see Inman and Sorrow casually chatting while walking down the stairs from the main deck. They turn and notice the gathering. Nevil looks down into the gaping hole. "It is a bit of a safety hazard, but mostly it's wasted space."  Passing her eyes over the group, "While she didn't say it directly, Atalaya was right.  This is going to be a long trip and we should make it more like a home. If we can't have a campfire, I figured a lounge was the next best thing."  …and somewhere to get truly comfortable that isn't in someone's bedroom. 

 "Hell, yeah, it is," Sorrow says, looking delighted. "This will certainly make this place feel less cramped. I'm surprised nobody's fallen in yet." He grins. "Y'all remember Grinda serving up some nice hot tea for Hawk's crew by throwing it down the hole on them? Brilliant. Kobolds, right?"

Inman raises an eyebrow at him. "Story later," he says. "You know I wonder if it could be hinged and swung down into the hold when we needed to open it up?"

Nevil contemplates, "Hinges are not a bad idea, but we can't swing it down because of the beams that support the weight..."  Making gestures with her hand, "...but we could have two folding doors that pull up then fold over and out."  Why didn't I think of that… Nevil raises a brow,  "that would be easier than a hundred pieces." The doors could meet over the center beam and the hinges that fold them in half could be supported by the left and right beams." Pacing around the hole to think through the new idea,  "the hinges on the outside that didn't fold below, could be recessed and made flush with the floor... and there wouldn't be a need for pin holes in Ivar’s deck..."  Well damn, he's right. Nevil smirks at Inman, "Don't let it go to your head, but this is a better plan."

  Atalaya watched as Nevil and Inman continued to discuss the plan to turn the multiple loose pieces of flooring into a more permanent structure that folded out of the way when access to the hold was required.  Understanding that everyone thought this would be a better solution to the common room redesign, but not having any input on the project she turned to Ivar.  “Do you have any idea about when we will reach Stamfort?  Will we be there in time to have dinner at a tavern or should we start something for dinner now?”

Ivar looked thoughtful for a moment before answering.  “The winds were not all that I had hoped for today.  We will make Stamfort but I’m not sure exactly when.  It could be anytime between 7:00 to midnight. “

Atalaya sighed.  “Well then, how about I put something light together for dinner and then we can head out to a tavern when we get to port, if any are still open when we get there?”  Thinking for a moment she added, “I can put some potatoes in the oven to bake.  We have enough time for that.  We can have some sandwiches with them or we can cut up cheese and stir fry some vegetables and bacon to top the potatoes with.  Which would you all prefer?”

Having settled on the new design, Nevil makes some quick notes on the draft.  Inman's eyes perk up with Atalaya’s question. "I'll always choose hot with vegetables if it's offered."  Nevil nods, "I agree. Want some company and another set of hands?"  

Atalaya nodded.  “Yes.  Let’s see what we can find.  If we clean and get the potatoes baking and then get the vegetables ready to stir fry we can spend a few minutes on the upper deck.  I need to see some sky and feel the wind for a bit.  Then we can finish up the vegetables when the potatoes are about to be done baking. 

Nevil turns to Inman, "Can I get you that cup of jade while we commandeer the galley? 

   Chapter 7: Dinner Preparations And Conversations

     

Atalaya hands Nevil the kettle to fill as she goes about stoking the cooking fire in the stove.  Heading down below to find the items she wanted for the meal she starts humming one of the songs Sorrow had played earlier that afternoon.  Filling a basket with the potatoes, onions, mushrooms, carrots and a slab of bacon.  Cutting off a good sized wedge of cheese and picking up a bottle of olive oil she headed back up the stairs.  

 Returning to the galley Atalaya began scrubbing the potatoes.  Checking to see that they were alone she lowered her voice as she addressed Nevil.  “You said something this morning that I’ve been thinking about.  You said, ‘Inman saw the weave move,’ and ‘I saw something divine’.  What did you mean?”

Nevil leans against the counter, "Well, I didn't see the weave like you can sometimes see it move around Inman and Sorrow.  But he clearly said he could see movement of the weave with your katas.  He also said you might have a natural ability to learn bladesinging."  Nevil looks up to Atalaya, "You could ask him."  With a playful grin, "Maybe you and Boz are just making magic together?"

Nevil moves a little closer to Atalaya to prepare some tea for Inman. "But what I did see was a woman prostrate after an intense meditation with the aura of the divine.  I know communion when I see it."  Aware or not, something moves in you. What do you remember?

“I remember doing the katas and reaching a feeling of peace and connection that I haven’t experienced before.  I was in the practice field outside of Oleascoa.  I could sense both Master Raloris’ and Master Elaria’s presence around as I moved through the katas, going into a deeper and deeper level of centering with each kata.  I remember finishing the last kata.  I came out of the meditation state too quickly.  The glade melted away and I felt dizzy and went down onto my knees to maintain my balance as the ship crashed through the waves.  And then… I’m not sure.  I felt   … I am not sure that I can describe it.  A feeling of being pulled somewhere.  And then of warmth and love and a feeling of being judged.  No, judged is not the right word.  Maybe being searched?  And then it seemed as if I heard my name being called from very far away.  Then I was walking across the deck to Vaz and Cirilli.”  Atalaya grows silent.  “Did they call to me?”

Nevil stops and recalls exactly what happened. "...No, we were letting you be and respecting your moment, but Cirilli was very concerned and wanted to run to you believing you were in trouble. But she did not call your name." Is she being called to service in faith? or something else?

Nevil stops, "when we first meditated together you described your callings like the roots of a tree reaching and connecting, was this similar? or different?”

Atalaya thinks about Nevil’s question for a moment.  “I think I talked about my place of centering or grounding as some call it, to be in the roots of a tree that reaches deep into the earth.  During the katas I felt this, but with more freedom or movement than I usually do.  Something that Master Raloris kept pushing me to feel, but I never did achieve that.  Until this morning.  I think it had something to do with guiding you in your meditation.  The sea is always moving and as I tried to describe that for you, I found myself experiencing it also.  So somehow I seemed to combine the two together as I moved through the katas.  I guess the answer to your question is that it was both similar and different from what I usually experience during my meditation.  It was definitely different from what I usually feel or experience during kata practice.”

Nevil looks still, listening intently, "a breakthrough most certainly. But you are expressing feelings of searching, pulling, and the calling of a voice. Then you felt drawn to your closest family..."

Nevil looks firm in her belief, "There is meaning there and I can only assume that it is Mielikki who smiles with you today.  Perhaps you have been chosen for something?   Perhaps she blesses your new family?  It is special whatever it is.”

Atalaya looks down at the pile of cut up vegetables that she barely remembers chopping.  “Perhaps she has blessed my chosen family.  I would like to think that.  …  You said that I was prostrate after the katas.  I wonder why I don’t remember that.”  She looks around at their preparations.  “I think these are ready to stir fry once the potatoes have baked a while longer.  I want some tea and then a walk in the fresh air.  What about you?”

Something does not sit well here.  Nevil tries to look as relaxed as possible. "Yes, we've been down here a while.  Fresh air sounds wonderful.... But before we go, I have to ask.... Have you ever lost memory like this before?”

Atalaya gave Nevil a long searching look.  “Not that I know about.  If you hadn’t told me about this time, I wouldn’t know about it either.”  Atalaya gathers up two mugs and searches through the tea stores.  When she finds a calming herbal tea blend, she measures a portion for each, placing them into tea infusers to seep.  Atalaya handed one mug to Nevil and took up the other.  Holding the mug close to her face, she smelt the light fragrances of the flowers.  As she does, her face relaxes.  “I wish I remembered whatever it was that you saw.  At least I think that I do.”

Nevil looks a little disturbed, "It's probably nothing, but I can't help but think about how magic has been affecting us of late.  You, me, Boz..."  Nevil looks to Atalaya to judge her reaction,  "It would probably be a good idea if we all get checked by a healer...to make sure nothing lingers.  We can't afford surprises.”

“I guess that we can do that.  Blue Haven is a big enough town that there should be healers there.  Maybe a temple to Chauntea.  Their healers are well thought of throughout the Sword Coast.  I would be willing to trust them.”    Atalaya holds up the tea infuser, letting the last of the liquid dribble out of it.  Putting it aside on a small plate, in case she decides to seep a second mug, she asks, “Shall we drink it down here, or take it with us to the topdeck?”  Atalaya took a small sip and, deciding it was too hot to drink yet, waited to take her next sip.  Opening the oven door she stuck a fork into one of the potatoes.  “Still hard, we have time before we need to cook the vegetables.”  

Nevil smiles, “I probably worry too much.  But it shouldn't take long in Blue Haven.”  Still holding the cup of tea Atalaya made, she picks up Inman's cup of Jade and gestures for Atalaya to lead the way, “Oh, top deck most certainly.  Open air is always preferable.” On her way past, Inman looks over an open book with a grin as he sees Nevil setting a cup of tea on the table where he is reading.  He breathes deep the characteristic aroma as it settles near. “Enjoy,” she softly speaks, running a hand over his shoulders as she walks behind him to the stairs.

Nevil asks, “where shall we sit?”  While the weather is clear, the seas have picked up a bit from earlier.  There is occasionally a larger than normal swell and dip into a trough.  

“Why not in the corner where we did our meditation this morning.  That should give us some shelter from the wind, and something to rest against.”  She heads across the main deck to the stairs to the forecastle deck.  “You know, if you are designing more seating space on the ship, a few benches along the sides of the ship might be nice too.  Give a few places to sit.  We could use a couple of the waterproof crates to store some cushions for them nearby, if we add some hooks to lash them to.”   Atalaya seats herself on the deck.  “Yes, it’s nice here out of the worst of the wind.”

Atalaya sips on her tea as Nevil seats herself next to her.  “Tell me more about your grandfather.  You seem to have learned a lot about woodworking from him.  Do you enjoy working with wood?”

Nevil nods at Atalaya’s additional ideas for travel comforts while clutching her tea and enjoying the salt air.  Nevil looks a little bit surprised by Atalaya's question.  Then she smiles and looks out over the sea, "Liam Cooper. His name was Liam Cooper."

Nevil pauses, "my birth name is Lysa Cooper, daughter of Trevin and Margot. When I married Nathan, I became a Latimer."  Nevil sips her tea and pauses. I haven't said those names in over a decade. 

"Keeping up with all my names?" Nevil smiles, "So, that's three names tainted in the eyes of the law."  Nevil sips her tea again, then looks to Atalaya, "But yes, we Coopers are a line, many generations long,  of seaman and wood craftsman.  But my hands are not exceptionally skilled.  With a lot of patience, I can make a few nice things."  Nevil looks nostalgic, "Not at all like Nathan... you've seen the bowl he made... his work was a master craft, like art."  Nevil stops to remember, "...and grandfather,  made beautiful ships that could hold against the worst of storms.  But he also carved toys, trinkets, anything to keep his hands busy.  I'll never be as skilled, but it makes me happy to try.  I guess it feels like a way to honor the man that worked so hard to raise me."

Nevil looks lost in memory as she speaks, "He spoke softly with kind eyes and laughed often, so when he didn't, people took notice.  He was well regarded in the community such that almost every night someone would join us for dinner just to hear his thoughts. It seemed that everyone in town had a story of a favor, wise words, or kindness given at the right moment.  What stuck with me most was how the community supported me after his death.  The same compassion, and generosity, and willingness to serve that he showed, they gave to me, because they remembered him.  It was his last and most important lesson.”  Nevil looks warmly to Atalaya, “he was a good man and I loved him very much… and I hope he will not judge my craftwork too harshly.”

Atalaya sipped her tea as she listened to Nevil remember her families.  “Lysa, that is such a pretty name.  It fits you.  And your grandfather sounds like a very wonderful man.  I’m sure he will be proud of your work, both with your swords and with your saws and hammers. 

 

“Yes, well... I don't feel like Lysa or a Cooper anymore. And like Magrim, it's probably best not to use those names.”  Nevil half-smiles, “I know he'd be proud.  I wish he could have known Magrim.”

Did he build any famous ships?  Those of lore?” she asked, her eyes twinkling with delight.  

Nevil laughs, "No, he didn't build any famous ships. Commissions for new ships in Seaton were mostly small and simple work boats.  Building new capital ships happens in larger towns with more available skilled workers." Seeing a little disappointment in Atalaya's eyes, "...but he did have his hands on several well known ships.  I mean, he's probably worked on every ship that ever stopped for repairs in Seaton.    So, with the naval militarization there, almost all the warships.  I think that's part of why he retired.”

Growing more serious, Atalaya added, “You were lucky to know any of your grandparents.  My mother’s family were killed during an orc raid shortly after I was born.  I never got to know them, although I’m told that they both held me after I was born.  They lived in Otterwell.  At the time, Mother lived about 3 miles outside of the village.  The orcs never made it as far as our cottage.”

Nevil draws a deep breath, "Orc raids through Otterwell. I'm sorry.  Judging by how you speak of the rest of your family and knowing your father, they must have been good people."

Nevil sips tea again, clutching the cup, despite the summer heat.  "I was incredibly lucky,  I was only four when mom passed and dad was almost always at sea. I'm sure the community would have taken me on in the same way, but it wouldn't have been as… warm.”

“I know a ship's life is not your favorite.  We can take some time ashore and make sure you get what you need.”  Nevil smiles “but it is giving us an excuse to get to know each other.”

“It does and I am glad about that.  And it gives us time to train Cirilli and hopefully to help her deal with her past. It must have been hard not having your mother while you were growing up.  You mention your grandfather a lot.  Did you know your grandmother?  Or had she passed before you were living with your grandfather?” 

"Oh, no, my mother's parents were long dead before I was born. I know very little of them because... well mother knew them best.  As for my grandparents on my father's side, it was just Grandfather."

Nevil looks out as she is remembering,  "He spoke of her sometimes, with a glint in his eye, as little memories would surface.  I got the impression that she passed when my father was young? Maybe childbirth? I really don't know.  I avoided the topic because of the look it would bring to his face.”

Nevil takes a long sip, “In hindsight, I think her death broke him.  If I had to guess, that might have been why he and father had a strained relationship and maybe why father stayed away."  Nevil breaks a smile, "I guess the women of the family are just I'll fated. I better have the priestesses look twice as long when they look me over.”

“We can do that, if you like,” Atalaya said with a slight hint of concern.  “You seem to have been stronger than your grandmother’s and mother.”  Then with a glint of amusement in her eyes, she adds, “But, should you become pregnant again, we can get you to Otterwell and have my mother and sister look after you.  They are the best midwives you will find anywhere.” 

Atalaya grew quiet as she thought about the forests south of Riverport.  “There isn’t much in the way of forests between here and Candlekeep.  At least not forests that we would want to enter.  Trollbark Forest is the first that we will pass.  I’ve heard that it is full of trolls, some with two heads and many other monsters.  It’s even said that the trees themselves are monsters.  And it is said that within the forest itself there are many swamps and bogs.”  Atalaya takes another sip of her tea as she searches through her memories for information she had learned from her father and Master Elaria.  

“The other forest we will pass is the Cloakwood.  It’s smaller than the Trollbark Forest and at first might seem a more wholesome place.  But the last I heard it was overrun by a goblin army and is the home of many monsters of its own.  It is between Balder’s Gate and Candlekeep.”  

“Have your travels taken you that far south before?   

Nevil looks to Atalaya with a grin, "well this may turn into a proper girl's night with spooky stories like those."  Nevil's face sobers, "I have heard the lands south can be quite rough and wild.  No, I ventured south of Riverport only a few times and never this far.  Why have you? You seem to know a bit.

“Well, I’ve looked at maps and asked questions.  I didn’t find out that much about them.  I’ve always been more involved with happenings in the High Forest and the mountains to the north and east of the High Forest.  And of course the Delimbiyr Vale.  But, the lore of Mielikki touches on the forests of Faerun, especially in the north and along the Sword Coast.”

You have mentioned Triboar, as the place one of your teachers lived.  Are you familiar with the small woods to the west of that town?  Gwaeron’s Slumber is what it is called.  At least by the rangers it is called that.  I think the townsfolk also use that name for it.”  

     I absolutely am.  The first order circle Tyrn managed was near there. I was there for almost two years.  When I... found service again, I helped protect the travelers on pilgrimage.  Have you been yet?

“I’ve wandered through the woods there once when I was about Cirilli’s age.  I’ll never forget it.  My heart was filled with wonder at being there, in Gwaeron’s resting place.  My father  had taken me with him to Triboar.  I don’t really remember why.  To meet someone I think.  He took me to the woods, telling me to enjoy myself, but to harm no trees or wildlife within the forest.   He then returned to Triboar to complete his business in town.  We met near the edge of the woods where he had taken me and spent the night at an inn before we made our way back to the High Forest.  It was the first time I left the High Forest.”

Nevil has finished her tea and rests the cup in her lap. “I would imagine that was quite a trip. What did you do while you were there? Spend any time with Mielikki?  I have heard her worshipers find communion with her to come more easily in those woods.  It is a beautiful place and the number of worshipers and the respect it is given by local officials make it a relatively safe space to find a deep connection.  It was the reason the circle was built there.”

“I walked through the forest.  It’s made up of trees whose leaves retain their autumn colors year round.  We were there in the early spring but the leaves were shades of red, orange and yellow.  And it was peaceful there.  Because there is no hunting allowed in the forest, the woodland creatures have no fear of us and many would come right up to us asking for pets and hugs.  If you stopped and really paid attention, you could hear Mielikki’s voice in the rustling of the leaves.  I was not yet fully a ranger when I was there.  So I saw no visions.  Nor did I spend the night to see if I would receive a dream from either Mielikki or Gwaeron.  But, it was a day where I felt their presence so very close to me.  I wasn’t sure that I believed all the stories about them before I went.  Afterwards, I wondered about all the things that were left out of the stories, not whether or not they were true.” 

Nevil nodded. “A pivotal moment in a life, ranger or not.  We should make the trip someday… take Cirilli.”

“I would like to do that.  But later, after she understands more about what Gwaeron means to the rangers.  When we get to Blue Haven and start looking for books, I would like to find one about him that I can get for her.  And maybe one that tells the story of how he became a ranger and his being chosen by Mielikki to be her messenger.  Want to help me look?”

“It would be my honor,” Nevil replied.

Atalaya checks the position of the sun.  “I think we best check on the potatoes if we don’t want to eat them burnt to cinders.  Sorrow might enjoy that, but not the rest of us.”  Atalaya takes a long look into the horizon as she stands at the ship’s railing and then turns to head back to the galley. 

Nevil nods and stands.  Stretching waiting for Atalaya to move toward the stairs, “Not a bad day today. Getting sore yet?”

“It has been a good day, hasn’t it,” Atalaya says as she leads the way up the steps, pushing herself to ascend at her normal rate.  “I am getting a bit sore.  Vaz’s backrubs have gotten much better over the past couple of months.  I need to teach him to work on the legs and arms next.”   Her face turns pink as she blushes.  Maybe Nevil won’t notice, there’s not as much light down here.   

Nevil laughs, "I hear you, breaking them in takes time.  But it's worth it."

Inman looks up from the table as Nevil walks by,  "What was that love?" 

 

Seeing the flushing on Atalaya’s face, Nevil pivots, "...new leathers, breaking them in takes time." 

Inman turns back to his book, "Goddess, tell me about it, chafing and soreness until you find the right fit.”

Reaching the galley, Atalaya grabs a potholder and opens the oven door.  She sticks a fork into the closest potato saying, “We came down right in time.  Let’s get the vegetables fried up.  I know we are hoping to get to a tavern after we dock, but do you think we should fry up some ham for the crew?  They might prefer to have more than just cheese for their protein tonight.”  

"Yes, they absolutely deserve something heartier." Nevil replies, reaching to pull down a salted ham from the hook. She starts to unwrap and shave thin slices, "it seems that just being on a ship and outside can stir quite a hunger.”

Atalaya moves the prepared frying pan with the vegetables onto the stovetop, adds a couple of splashes of oil to the pan and stirs them around once the frying pan heats up.  Looking into the spice box, she pulls out some basil, oregano and cilantro and cumin to add to the vegetables.  

Inman turns the corner with a book in hand as Nevil continues to shave the ham.  He draws behind Nevil pulling her close, whispering words for her alone, "breaking you in... still worth it and still comfortable in the right spots."

Nevil blushes as Inman kisses her cheek and withdraws. She gives him an amused look as he leaves into their cabin.  Inman returns in a few minutes.  Nevil asks him as she starts to heat the ham, “do you mind rounding everyone and helping to set the table?” 

Inman leans to grab some plates and silverware, “I don't mind at all.”

Chapter 8:  Mealtime Conversations

Atalaya tosses the vegetables into a serving bowl and then opens the oven.  Using the potholders she removes the potatoes from the oven and places them on a platter.  When Inman returned to the galley, Atalaya handed him the platter and serving bowl to take to the table.  As she did, Cirilli made her way into the galley, her footsteps a little slower than usual.  “Sorry, I’m late.  Can I help you?”  

Atalaya handed her the butter bowl and the platter with the cheese.  “Here, put these on the table please.”  Atalaya then handed another platter to Nevil.  “You can put the ham on this.”  Picking up the water pitcher and a pitcher ale, she followed Cirilli to the table.  

Setting the pitchers down, she sat next to Cirilli.  “You seem to be feeling better.  Is everything okay?  Or do we need to talk later?”

Cirilli stilled for a moment, and then turned slightly towards Atalaya.  “I’m sorry about this afternoon.  I got ,,, I couldn’t do what you asked and the thoughts that came into my head were… upsetting.  I don’t really want to talk about it.  But, I think maybe that means I should?”

“Yes, I think we should.  But not at the dinner table.  After the meal we can find a place to talk, okay?”

Cirilli nods and then reaches for a potato.  Juggling it from hand to hand she places it on her plate.  “Hot…hot…”  She slices it open and reaches for the butter.   

Nevil arranged the ham on the platter Atalaya handed her, grabbed a few odds and ends for the meal and followed to the table.  She took the last seat on the end by Cirilli and began to pass the platter around as the serving began.  Looking down the table and seeing everyone was distracted with potato preparations, Nevil leaned into Cirilli for a private message, "You did really good today with sparing.  I wasn't that good at your age.  Hang in there, we know it's hard.”

Cirilli hold’s Nevil’s eyes with hers.  “Do you really mean that?  I try so hard to get better with my fighting skills.  But it has been hard, moving around so much.  When we are traveling there generally isn’t time to practice.”  

Nevil grins, "I do... but don't tell Atalaya I said so.  She'll think I'm going soft on you."

Atalaya overhears Nevil’s comment to Cirilli but doesn’t say anything. (See perception roll, 21 in Islands of Plunder)  Meeting Nevil’s gaze above Cirilli’s head she gives her a wink as she reaches for some of the cheese to add to her potato.  Turning her attention to Sorrow, Vasilya and Inman, she asks, “So, what have you two been up to this afternoon?  I haven’t seen much of you,”

"Not much," Boz says. "Practicing focus. It's tiring, but it's getting easier. "And this lazy devil..." He gestures at Sorrow. "Has been napping." 

"Hey," Sorrow says. "I coiled rope for Annie for two hours." 

Inman shrugs. "Just reading, mostly. Helped the crew with some busy work." 

Of course the huntress caught me... Nevil grins at Atalaya. I'm sure Atalaya would agree Cirilli needs a little encouragement.  I'm going to have to be more careful what I say with Inman though.  

Nevil enjoys dinner as she listens to the table banter.  

As she sets her silverware across her plate and grips her cup.  Nevil turns to speak, "Atalaya, what do you think about taking Cirili with us into the tower to check on our friend?  There should be all kinds of interesting things to see. You did clear the last time right?”

“We did clear out all the rooms, or at least those we found the last time we were there.  I think it would be an excellent opportunity for Cirilli.  And a good look at what it means when we say that all encounters do not need to be solved with the sword.”  

Atalaya turns to Cirilli, “Would you like to come with us when we check on what’s happening in Briarwood and then when we go to check in on Brinecane?  I’m not sure if we will do both together or go to each place separately.  We might want to move the ship south before going to visit with Brinecane.”
Cirilli’s face lights up.  “Yes!  I want to go with you!  Can I really?  That will be so much fun.”  Her face swivels from Atalaya to Vasilya to Nevil looking for their agreement.

“I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t going to let you come.  Yes, I think it will be a good experience for you.  Although, just because we cleared an area out several months ago, doesn’t mean that it is still cleared out.  You will need to be vigilant, especially in the wizard’s home.”

“I will be.  I’ll be very careful.” She turns to Nevil, her eyes shining, “Thank you.”  

Despite Cirilli’s excitement, Nevil's face turns stern, "Don't thank me yet, this is not a vacation. It is also a lesson in attention and focus.  Atalaya is correct, you will have to pay attention and listen, touch nothing, and stay close."  She looks directly at Cirilli, "can you do that?”

Cirilli looks between Nevil and Atalaya, takes a deep breath and then says, “Yes.  I will do all that.”

Atalaya shakes her head slightly.  “Exactly what are you going to do?”
Cirilli looks at her and answers, “Pay attention, stay

 close and listen to what you and Nevil tell me.”

“You need to listen to all of us.  And you forgot one of Nevil’s most important instructions; to touch nothing.”

Cirilli looks serious.  “Yes, I will listen to all of you and I will touch nothing.”

Smiling slightly, Atalaya adds, “I would amend that last bit slightly.  Touch nothing until asked to help or given leave to touch something.”  Atalaya looks over at Ivar.  “I seem to remember needing to turn some columns around to open doors.”  

Nevil smiles as she stands, "then it is agreed."  Nevil starts to pick up after dinner items.  taking a trip to the galley, she returns with a kettle to refill Inman's tea and offer fresh coffee around the table.  "Atalaya, I can take care of this.  If you have some other things to attend to…”

Chapter 9:  Atalaya and Cirilli share stories

“Thanks.  I think Cirilli and I need to talk a bit.” 

“Are you done with your meal, Cirilli?”

Cirilli takes a deep breath and then stands.  “I guess I am.  Where are we going?”
Atalaya looks at her tense face and body posture.  This couldn’t be easy, could it?  Let’s go topside.  It was getting windy, but it wasn’t raining yet when I came down.  Let’s enjoy the rainfree weather while we can.”

Cirilli nods and makes her way towards the stairs.  Atalaya looks at Vaz.  “Wish me luck, Iubit.  I think I’m going to need it.”  Vaz squeezes her hand and then gives her a brief hug.  Atalaya follows Cirilli to the open deck and leads her up the stairs to the forecastle deck.  They both head over to the ship’s rail and gaze out at the angry waves.  

After several moments of silent contemplation Atalaya turned towards Cirilli, took her hand and guided her to what had become Atalaya’s favorite sitting spot on the forecastle.  Atalaya sat down and with a gentle tug urged Cirilli to sit beside her.  She sat silently gathering her thoughts and then looked directly at Cirilli.  “Nevil reminded this afternoon that all this is very new to you and that I haven’t had the chance to share about much of my training with you.  Nor have you had the chance to watch others being trained.”  She stopped for a moment, watching Cirilli for clues about what she was feeling.  

Cirilli squirmed and pulled back slightly from Atalaya, trying to get a more direct look into Atalaya’s face.  “You said that your father trained you and that you spent a summer with Master Elaria where you met Ivar, Tif and Macterah.  And you have said that you had to learn to meditate before your father taught you to use a sword.  But you haven’t said much else about it.”

Atalaya pulled her into her embrace, giving her a long hug and then leaving her arm around Cirilli’s shoulders she started talking.  “I think it is time that you heard about my life and training.  You haven’t had the chance to grow up with me.  Too hear all the family stories that others would tell you about my foibles and other stories about the young child I was.  I’m sure that the more we get to visit with my parents and siblings the more of these you will hear.  But the stories that I think you need to hear now are about my learning to become a ranger.”  

Atalaya grows quiet as she tries to decide where to start her story.  Finally she starts again.  “My first clear memories involved my 5th birthday.  My younger brother would have been about 2 years old and my sister was just a baby.   I was excited.  We were getting ready for our trip to visit with my friend Sossheni.  My father carried our picnic foods in his large backpack.  I had noticed that some of my gifts were also stuffed into it.  My father had to really rein me in, I was so excited about everything I expected to happen that day.  He constantly had to remind me that I was expected to remain on the trail and within his sight.  With my running forward and being called back I probably walked or rather ran two or even three times the distance as the rest of my family.  Finally we made it to Sossheni’s grove.  I immediately ran for her tree and started climbing up to find her.  I was still small enough that I needed her help to reach the first branches and to climb as high as I was wanting to climb.  I think for the first time I was really aware that Sossheni was helping me by growing branches wherever I needed them to make my way up.  Once I reached our meeting place I settled and waited for her to manifest herself.  Then we would sit and talk.  At the time I just thought we were talking about what had happened during the year since I had last seen her.  We would talk about what I was learning to do.  About my brother and sister.  About my parents.  I was excited that year, because I was able to tell her that I was learning to read.  Mother had been teaching me for a couple of months at that point.  I would have talked about helping my mother in the garden and helping to cook the meals.  And about taking walks with my father into the forest where he would show me all kinds of wild plants and the animal tracks that we came across.”  

Atalaya paused listening to the sail crackling in the winds.  “As I got older I realized that while we did just do some talking and sharing, much of our time was spent with her interrogating me about what I had learned during the past year.  But that was later.  At five years of age I was just so excited to tell her everything about what I had done and learned.  Afterwards she would tell me about things that had happened in her grove and in the forest around her.  About the animals that visited and about the new baby animals she had seen.  About new trees growing in the forest and flowers blooming in her glade.  And then I would climb down and she would take my parents off to talk with them for a while.”  

“When they came back it was time to eat.  We would put the food out on a blanket my mother would bring with us.  Sosshoni would sit with us and tell stories of the forest folk as we ate.  And then my second favorite part of the day came.  When my parents would give me their gifts.  I had gotten my new clothes from my mother the night before so that I could wear them to see Sossheni.  But that year she also gave me two storybooks.  One about the creation of the world and the peoples in it and the other a book of poems written especially for children.  Her other gift was some doll clothes that were identical to my own new outfit and “go out into the woods with father” clothes.  But the gift from my father took my breath away.  It was a bow, just my size and a quiver full of arrows.  My only disappointment was when I pulled out an arrow there was no arrowhead on it.  When I asked him about it, he told me that I had many many hours of learning and practice before I would be ready for arrows with actual points on them.  He set up a lot of rules then and there.  I could only use the bow when he was with me.  I couldn’t shoot an arrow at any living being which included the trees and plants.  I had to know where the bow and quiver of arrows were at all times and be sure that it was nowhere that my brother or sister could get into it.  I must see that the bow was unstrung after I was done working with it.  I agreed to every stipulation he gave, my head already filled with thoughts of becoming a mighty hunter like he was.” 

“I learned quickly that these rules were going to be sternly enforced by my father.  I only forgot them a couple of times before I realized that he had no tolerance for my ‘forgetting’ them.  As I grew older I realized that these rules were for my safety and the safety of others around me, especially my brother and sister.  I may not have realized it then, but my training to become a hunter and ranger began the very next day.”   

Cirilli had become still while Atalaya talked.  When Atalaya grew quiet Cirilli ventured a question.  “I understand why Ailwin wouldn’t want you to shoot at animals, but why did he not let you shoot at the trees and plants?”

 Atalaya looked at Cirilli.  Instead of answering her question she asked,

“Where do the dryads live?”

Cirilli gasped.  “In trees.”

“That’s right,”  Atalaya replied.  “And what happens to a dryad if their tree dies?

Cirilli answered, “They die, don’t they?”

“That’s right honey, they do.  “And how do you know in which tree a dryad lives?

Cirilli thought for several minutes before answering.  “By watching one go in and out of a tree.”  

“That is right.  Or someone could tell you that there was someone who lived in a particular tree.  Can you just look at a tree and know whether or not a dryad lives in it?”

“They live in oak trees, right?” 

“Yes, but they can live in other types of trees too. Remember, Sossheni lives in an ash tree.  You can’t look at a tree and know whether or not it is a home to dryad.  So all living trees need to be respected and treated as if they were the home of dryad,” explained Atalaya.

“But… But.. then you would never be able to cut down any trees.”  Cirilli looked confused.  “How do you build things then?  Like the ship we are sailing in?”

 “The rangers, the clerics, druids and worshippers of Mielikki, Gwaeron, Silvanus and even Eldath strive to maintain the health and growth of the wild areas of our world.  There are times when it is needful to cut down trees for  lumber.  But it should be done carefully and in harmony with the needs of the area.  Whenever a tree is cut down or lost to fire those I named will see that a new one is planted.  The clerics and druids often try to plant up to forty trees for each that is lost.  To respectfully harvest trees for lumber, it is best that the companies that do so work with the local druids, clerics or rangers to find out which trees are safe to harvest and to make peace with the local dryad or dryads before they cut down the first tree.  You weren’t with us in Julkoun when we helped the dryad Oyfanen who lives near that town.  But we brought those of the town that would be able to make and keep promises for the town that Oyfanen’s forests and glade would not feel the woodsman’s axe and established an area of protection for the forest and the wild creatures.  This allows some areas to be open for the expansion of the town and the use of wild resources, but protects certain areas from such use.  If the town continues to speak with Oyfanen or the rangers who watch over that area such a balance can be maintained.”  Atalaya chuckles softly, “I find my list of places that I must take you growing longer every time we talk as well as when I talk with my friends.”

“I can’t tell you all my stories in one night.  Let’s make it a practice to try to share at least one when we have days at sea like this.”  

Cirilli nods shyly.  “I think I would like that.  Soon we will have Nevil’s hanging couches to sit in while we tell them.”

“We will have that, honey.”  

Atalaya continues, “I have talked a lot tonight.  Now, I have a question for you.  “What is one memory of your childhood that you can share with me tonight?”

Cirilli looked startled.  “Any memory, not what I saw when you were trying to get me to meditate this afternoon?”

Atalaya pulled Cirilli close, resting her head against her shoulder. “I am certainly willing to listen to that, if that is the story you want to share.  But if you are not ready to share it, that’s okay too.  Any story you are ready to share is all that I asked of you for tonight.  Happy, sad or somewhere inbetween, it is all up to you.  What do you want me to know about yourself?”

Cirilli looked a little confused and uncertain.  Atalaya held her close and stroked her hair as she waited for Cirilli to find the words to tell her story.

Cirilli thinks a bit. "I used to sneak away sometimes to go exploring with Sandy and Summer Carpenter. You've met them. You know what happened in Parabor. To my parents." She grimaces. "My parents weren't great to be around even before the cult came in. They certainly didn't fight too hard to avoid it." She sighs. "I feel like I should miss being home more than I do. But anyway, my parents would get so angry when they found out I'd gone off. But I didn't care. It was the only time I didn't hate my life. We got into some scrapes together, for sure. I hope they're doing okay now."   

Atalaya strokes Cirilli’s hair.  “I hope they are too.  They seemed like adventurous children.  I can see you being friends with them.”  Atalaya continues to hold her ward close as Cirilli struggles with her memories and emotions.  Finally Atalaya kisses the top of Cirilli’s head.  “I wish you had had a happier childhood Cirilli.”  After a moment she added,  But, I’m glad you had Summer and Sandy to be friends with.  What was your favorite escapade you had with them?”  Atalaya continues to stroke Cirilli’s back and her hair as she waits for Cirilli’s answer.  

Cirilli thinks for a second, then she quietly admits, "we took a few things from town... nothing important... almost all scraps."  Then with growing excitement and pride, "we made our own house, up in a big oak tree, a short walk from town.  Only we know where it is because you have to climb to find it.  It is big enough for all three of us... or for you and me."    Cirilli looks almost happy remembering, "it was quiet there.  You can look out over the woods and feel the wind blow." 

Atalaya felt her heart melt as she listened to Cirilli relate her memory.  I’m so glad that she has something to remember that is a happy memory.  And she invited me to share it with her?  Yes, I can use this later.  It’s a happy and strong image she can use when we start to actually meditate.  

Atalaya continues to soothingly stroke Cirilli’s back.  Finally she spoke softly, remembering her own escapes at the top of trees, “That sounds like a very special place.  Someday I would like to see it with you. … Hearing the wind rustling through the tree branches all around me, after a day when nothing seemed to go right, always helped me find peace again.”  

After just sitting with Cirilli and listening to the sea winds, Atalaya asked, “So, is this why you enjoy being up in the crow’s nest so much?  It reminds you of your oak tree.  And of Sandy and Summer?”

Cirilli seems to think awhile then shrugs, "yeah, I suppose, but our treehouse was different... I mean everyone knows when I'm in the crow's nest, but like, it feels free... I can see everything around us... and I don't get in trouble when I come down.”  Cirilli sits quietly, “I do miss them.”

       “Yes, I miss my family too.”  Atalaya sits with her, watching the stars start to appear as the dusk makes way for the night sky.  Somewhat hesitantly, she starts to share more of her life.  “ When I was little, my best friends were my twin cousins.  They are 4 years older than I am.  You know that elves, humans and half-elves all age differently, don’t you?”  Atalaya waited until she felt Cirilli’s nod.  “Well, half-elves and humans age similarly until we reach adulthood.  For a half-elf like myself that is around 20 years old.  As for my cousins, they will not reach adulthood until they are 100 years old.  When I was a child, we were all about the same level of maturity for a while and it was great.  We got into all kinds of adventures and scrapes.  Bithyra was one of the village guards who became one of my early teachers when my father was busy.  She was always having to haul us back home to our parents when she would find us trying to escape the village and head into the woods.”  Atalaya gives a soft chuckle.  “She definitely helped us hone our stealthing skills.  As we got older she caught us less and less often.  There was a small glade with a stream winding through it that we loved to play in.  There was a huge weeping willow tree there, with branches that reached to the ground.  We would hide ourselves within the tree.  Sometimes climbing the tree, but just as often sitting on the ground telling stories or playing in the dirt.  Sometimes I would take a book and just read.  It seemed to be a magical place. We slayed many dragons and giants under that tree.”   

“It changed slowly, as I reached your age.  I was ready to become serious about learning to be a ranger.  And when I was with my mother, she became more serious about wanting me to learn her skills as a healer.  Talina and Lorsan were still children.  Now they were tagging along with me and trying to keep up with me, rather than the other way around.  It was weird.  I felt like I had lost my friends.”  Atalaya remains silent as she remembers.  “It’s better now. We are much closer again.  They are both committed to their paths and have been in serious training for several years now.  Lorsan also has chosen to become a ranger, like his father and uncle.  And Talina wants to follow in her mother’s footsteps.  She is studying with the druids of Mielikki.  I miss them.”  

They both grow silent as they watch the clouds blow past the stars.  After a bit Atalaya asks, “What else did you do with Sandy and Summer?”

Cirilli smiled, “the best days were when they would come and help me with my chores.  Even between the two of them they never had as many chores as I did… but when we finished, we would run off and play in the countryside.  Summer would bring a pack her mother would send, full of some of the most delicious foods to share on our adventures.  She made the best little cookies with oats and fruits.  Special things I didn’t get at home.”  Cirilli gets quiet for a moment, then picks up, “we would have little picnics down by the creek.  The air was cooler by the water and the bushes were thick and hung low, so adults didn’t bother to walk that way.  The water was deep enough to swim, but I was able to keep my feet on the bottom.  We would warm in the sun and just talk.   It felt normal.”

Atalaya sat with Cirilli, listening to her easy breathing as her mind followed these pleasant memories.  When it seemed that Cirilli had nothing more to add at the moment she shifted slightly so that Cirilli was sitting upright and reached for her hands.  “I could see that you were remembering things that hurt and scared you this afternoon.  I think that we are going to have to talk about those memories and help you to truly face them so that you and not they are in charge of your reactions.”  Cirilli tenses and starts to pull away from Atalaya.  Tightening her grasp slightly on Cirilli's hands she says, “No, not right now.  The dark of night is not the time to face fears.”  Releasing one of Cirilli’s hands, Atalaya used a finger to lift Cirilli’s face to meet her gaze.  “I made a mistake today while we were practicing.  I’m realizing that the heavy thoughts that you were having are not just going to go away by breathing them out.  When you practice relaxing your body, try this instead.  Every time one of these heavy thoughts come to mind I want you to see one of these happy memories you shared tonight.  Either you sitting up in your treehouse talking with Sandy and Summer, or being free of chores and having picnics with them by the water.  Do you think that you can try that?”  Atalaya releases her other hand.  

“We will still need to work through those heavy thoughts, but not when you are trying to relax and meditate.”  Seeing Cirilli’s distressed look, Atalaya adds, “I know you don’t want to, but they need to be looked at.  I promise you this though, you will not be alone in this.  I’ve had my own shit to work through.  I have felt fear and anger and helplessness that kept me from being able to meditate and that affected my instruction with my weapon masters.  While  I haven’t experienced the same things that you have, I have felt the feelings I see lurking behind your eyes.  When we do talk about these things, remember that I have also walked this road.”  Atalaya shakes her head, “And that’s it for the heavy stuff tonight.   Remember, if we get to port early enough, we are planning to head to a tavern to get the lay of the land and maybe some more food.  You can join us if you want.”  With a sly smile she adds, “And right now, you can escape to the crow’s nest if you need or want to.  I think that I’m going to head back down and see who is still in the common room.”  Atalaya draws Cirilli in and gives her one last hug and a kiss on the top of her head.  

Cirilli looks like she is searching for words, then she speaks softly, "I'm glad I found you and Boz." 

Cirilli hugged Atalaya and held it for some time.  Then letting go, she looked up at the crow's nest and yawned.  Cirilli looks exhausted from a long day, "I think I want to lay down.  Will you wake me if you go to town?”

“I will.  I don’t know when we are going to make port.  I’ll check in on you if we decide to go into town.  You can decide then if you want to go with us, or if you want to sleep.”  Atalaya takes a final look up at the sky and then heads down below deck, following behind Cirilli.  

   Chapter 10: Nightcap and Cirilli's Education

As she descends the stairs the soft sounds of Sorrow’s violin are heard.  Atalaya smiles to herself.  Just what I need.  Something to help me relax.  That conversation was stressful, but maybe we made some headway. …  I can’t believe that I’m thinking this, but some of Nevil’s special tea would be nice right about now.  

Atalaya watches as Cirilli walks over to Vasilya, gives him a long hug, smiles at Sorrow and the others present and walks to her room.  Atalaya follows her into the room and sits down next to Vasilya.  

Nevil smiles to see few signs of tears on either Cirilli or Atalaya. After seeing that Cirilli appears to be staying in her room, "I mean this with love, but you look spent.  How did it go?”

“That was intense.  But, I think it went well.  She was able to open up and tell me a few things about her past that hint at some of what she went through with her parents.  But more importantly we both talked and shared some of our past and she was able to remember some fun she had with her friends.”

“Do we have the tea kettle on?  I could really use something to help me relax after that.”

Nevil listens intently.  "That does sound like a good start.  Just remember, it's a long road.  You can't rush the process."

Is she asking for Nightcap? Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Be nice.  Nevil plays coy, "Of course, can I get you your usual herbal mix?”

“Anything without caffeine in it will be fine.  Thank you.”  Atalaya closes her eyes for a moment.  “I find myself more and more in awe of my parents as I try to parent Cirilli.  I never realized what kind of problems I was presenting them with.  And how they almost always found the right words to help me.”

As Sorrow finished the song he was playing he looked over to Atalaya. “Anything in particular you would like to hear?”  He fiddles with the strings, tuning one as he waits for her answer. 

“Something happy,” Atalaya responded.  “Something light and happy.”

Sorrow nods and after a moment of thought starts playing again.  

Anything indeed.  Nevil chuckles as she gets up to retrieve some items from the galley. She returns after a few minutes with a kettle and a few cups.  Placing the box of herbal tea and her pouch of nightcap on the table next to the kettle.  "Pick your poison.  I'm not picking "anything" for you."

She pours a single cup of steaming water for Atalaya and one for herself. Nevil sprinkles some regular tea in her cup.  Holding it while waiting for it to steep, "If you need to relax, imagine how Cirilli feels.”

Inman appears from the galley as well and comes to sit beside Nevil.

Atalaya picks up the box of herbal tea, reads the label and measures out the tea leaf into the strainer.  “I imagine that she is exhausted and troubled.  She asked for some time alone to rest, but wants to join us if we get to port in time to go into town tonight.  I’ve told her that she can join us if she still wants to when we get there.”  

“If we get there tonight, I think that we should see if we can pick up more practice gear in the morning.  And a clothesline.  I never really considered all the implications of a long sea journey before, but I don’t plan on not washing my clothing until we reach Candlekeep.”

After a moment enjoying the aroma of the seeping tea, Atalaya turned to Nevil.  “You mentioned earlier… either last night or this morning, I don’t remember when exactly, that we should talk more about Cirilli’s training.  I’m going to ask you to take the primary role as her weapons trainer right now.  I can see that she trusts you in that role and I really think that Vaz and I need to be her parents right now, not her weapons instructors.  I’ll still help out like I did today, but any discipline needs to come from someone besides us right now.  The bonds between us are there, but fragile.”  Seeing Vaz’s quizzical look, she adds, “Yes with you too.  I’m starting to think that the only people in Parabor that understood her at all were Sandy and Summer.”  Turning back to Nevil she asks, “Are you willing to do this?  The role of weapon’s master is not an easy one.”

Nevil nods listening carefully, "I can do that.  I think your assessment is wise, however; I will not teach her as your mentors or the Master taught you.  I agree that she needs a firm but kind hand. So, I will teach her as my Grandfather taught me. When she is stronger, she can mature into another method. Agreed?"

“Agreed.  Tell me about how your grandfather taught you.  I want to be sure that I support whatever you are teaching and doing with her.”  After a moment of reflection she adds, “I’ve been trained by a number of different people besides the Master.  And I watched the Master using different methods with different students.  So, what exactly is it that you want to do with Cirilli.”

“A fair question.  Much like today, it is a mixture of physical conditioning, free sparing, and lessons and repetition on forms.  Once I get a better idea of her strengths and weaknesses, we will start to build lessons around those.  We will also throw in methods for dealing with differently weaponed opponents and unexpected situations.  The goal is to get her to not have firsts in real combat and to make mistakes here.”

Nevil catches Sorrow's gestures between songs.  She prepares a cup of nightcap for him and lets it steep. Sliding it to Inman as she gestures to Sorrow.  Inman prepares a cup for himself, then stands to deliver the drink to the bard.

Nevil continues with a firm eye, “to be clear, she is a child under your care. Not mine directly.  Therefore we will speak frequently on the direction of her studies.  Your desire is primary.  So, I invite you to question my teaching methods at any time, just not in front of Cirilli.  Even if she gets bloodied or bruised. I will not intentionally hurt her, but it will happen, it's unavoidable.”  

Nevil sips tea as Inman returns to sit near, “still agreed?”

Atalaya looks directly at Nevil.  “Agreed.  And I know that you are not going to intentionally hurt her.  Any more than any of my trainers intentionally hurt me.  But an untrained fighter is a wildcard, and one cannot always anticipate what they are going to do.”  I was certainly a handful when I was first starting.  I frequently was bloodied and bruised during sparring because I didn’t have control of my body or impulses. My poor father more frequently than not needed to explain to my mother why I was once again needing a bandage or bruise cream.  “While as a parent I do not want to see her hurt, as a parent I know that she can’t reach her goal without some bumps, bruises and cuts.”   Searching Nevil’s face she adds, “I’ll make you two promises.  I will never question your methods in front of Cirilli, or anywhere I think she would overhear us.  Second, I will not undermine your authority with her by personally correcting her, or saving her from corrections, during sessions.  Even if you have me helping to demonstrate something like today, the corrections come from you.”

“I added the second because I can remember certain parents telling their little elflings that of course they were doing their best… or that no, they didn’t need to run the laps, do the pushups etc. that they had been set to do.  Those children didn’t end up becoming rangers or guards, because our trainers didn’t put up with that type of foolishness.   I will be watching the practices though, either directly or while doing my own practicing.  If I have any concerns we will talk about them later.”  

“Agreed. I’ll let you tell her.”  Nevil grins, “well, never did I expect this after I took my vows.  Let's hope we can teach her restraint and judgment too.”  Unexpected. Why does this make me deeply happy?  Nevil sits with her tea, smiling.

“What types of practice weapons are you going to need for this.  I’m thinking besides the more common things, finding something to simulate a harpoon and a trident might be useful since we seem to be fighting underwater more than I ever thought I would.   Let’s hope we can find what is needed in Stamfort.”

Nevil looks with humor as Atalaya gets excited about shopping for her little warrior, “well we don't have to get it all at one time.  She's not going to graduate to polearm defense for sometime.”

After a moment Atalaya adds, “You might want to think about getting yourself some leather armor.  If we keep ending up on the water, that would at least give you some protection.  Up to you though.”

Nevil looks disappointed, “Well, I was saving for an upgrade from the chain, but yes, I think you're right.  I have been taking a beating underwater and that doesn't help us a lot.  It almost makes me wish I was a fighter of speed and dexterity like the rest of you.” 

Nevil leans into Inman, who can't hide his grin as he adjusts his position to make space for her under his arm. “It was a good day, but let's slow it down next time.  I think I might sleep for days.”

Atalaya’s face shows her tiredness.  She tries to relax while sitting on the bench, leaning her arms forward on the table.  “I’m looking forward to your lounge area, Nevil.”  

Boz pulls her back so that she can lean against him.  “Rest here, Iubit.  Or are you ready to meditate?”  

“No, I’d like to go into town and get a feel for it if we make port early enough.  And if she is up to it when we get there, Cirilli has earned the right to join us.  She worked hard today with both Nevil and myself.”  Atalaya looks at her now empty mug.  “When did I finish this?”  Pulling slightly away from Boz, she reaches for the tea kettle and lifts it to test how much is in it.  Pouring another cup she adds more of the tea and settles back against Boz as she waits for it to seep.  

After enjoying another cup of tea, Atalaya turns to the others.  “I think I want to walk the decks.  Maybe find out if we are anywhere near the port.  If we aren’t going to reach it soon, I think I may be done for the night.  It’s going to be too late to head into the town if we don’t get there soon.”  Looking around the group, “Anyone want to go with me?”

Boz nods, “I’ll walk with you.  Anyone else?”

Nevil looks at Boz and Atalaya, "No, I think Boz deserves some of your time."  Sorrow downs the reminder of his nightcap and hops up, "I hope the stars are out."

After they walk up the stairs, Nevil sits up and looks to Inman, "...and you deserve mine." She runs her fingers over his hand that has fallen between them and on to her thigh, her fingers intertwining with his.  It's almost like he never left. Nevil studies his face then whispers, "I'm glad I found you again.  Despite all this, you have managed to make me happy in a very short time." She leans in and kisses him slowly, lingering for his response.

Atalaya rises and reaches for Vasilya’s hand to pull him up.  Leaving her hand in his, she makes her way to the topdeck, Sorrow leading the way.  Sorrow heads off to the bowsprit leaning against the rails as he searches the sky for constellations.  Atalaya searches the decks and sees Ivar at the helm.  Making their way towards him Atalaya looks towards the area of the deck where they had practiced this morning.   Seeing Cirilli doing her best to attack Nevil plays through her memories.  “Cirilli really did a good job this morning.  It’s hard to believe that she had never held a sword in her hand until a few months ago.  She is going to be an amazing swordswoman if she can control her emotions when she is fighting.”

Vaz, his eyes softening as he gazes at Atalaya replies, “What choice does she have but greatness with all the fantastic teachers she has had. … And will have.”  Stopping near the practice area he runs his hand over her face, tracing her cheekbones.  “I’ve never seen you sword dance before.  It was amazing to watch.  I don’t know anything about the weave moving, but I couldn’t take my eyes off your movements.”  Vasilya’s hand glides behind her head to grasp the back of her neck, as his other arm pulls her in close.  A slight pressure of his hand tilts her head towards his and he claims a kiss.  A long moment later he finally pulls away, his eyes on Atalaya.  “You know you hold my heart in your keeping.  I don’t know where you went after you finished the dances, but please remember to come back to us, to me when you go there again.  I…”

Atalaya, her hands resting on his shoulders, reached up for his lips and stopped him with another kiss.  When she finally pulled away from him she rested her head against his chest, their heartbeats sounding in her ear.  “I’m not going anywhere.  And if I hold your heart, remember that you are holding mine.”

After another few moments, while Vasilya held Atalaya to him a shout from the crow’s nest broke through the night sounds.  “Lights ahead to the port side.”  

“Stamfort?” questioned Atalaya.  She pulled him toward the port railings searching for any signs of light.  Peering ahead she tried to make out what she was seeing, but finally realized that all that she could tell was that there were lights ahead of them.  “Maybe we will get to have a drink on land tonight.”  Atalaya and Vasilya stood at the railing as the ship moved towards the lights. 

******

 End Notes

Lumber cost guess

http://equipmentlist5e.wikidot.com/raw-materials

assume x3 mark up for hardwood and precuts/drill

3 - 16ft 4x4 beams (30 sp each) = 1gp

50 - 6ft 2x8 planks (15 sp each x 50 = 750 sp) = 10gp

100 - 6in 3/4 inch round pins (1sp each x 100) = 10 gp

21gp for raw materials x 3 for install = 92gp? 

seems cheap... but then again compare to weapon costs in terms of labor?

other stuff guess…

carpenter's set.    8gp

tailors set,        1gp

woodcarving    1gp

three mattresses (3x cost of bedroll at 1gp?)  9gp

six ships hammocks, (similar in materials to a tent at 2gp?) 12gp

New ship's rope, 500 feet (hemp 50ft 1gp) 10gp

Washtub, (2x cost of a barrel at 2gp) 4gp

45gp total for others